09 Oct 2019
by smartignani
in Children, Development, Family, Growing up, humour, Kindergarten, Moments, Moms, Motherhood, Parenting, Reflection
Tags: child, childhood, childhood development, children, daughter, development, families, Family, humour, inspire, kids, life, love, mom, moms, mother, motherhood, mothers, Parenting, parents
My three babies are not babies anymore! Look how much they’ve grown!
The last time I wrote mommy moment my eldest (8) was 5 and my middle (6) was 3 and my youngest (4) was a toddler. Where is the time going?
Anyways, just because they got older doesn’t mean they lost their humour. Here are some recent moments I would like to share with you:
I know I am blessed with my children but I feel the need to share these with you.
- My 4 year old reminded me today that his peepee needs to “air out”- I don’t even know what that means??!
- My 8 year old came home with another girl’s jewelry. When I asked her to give it back because we don’t take stuff from other people, she replied “Fine! But I look way better in this than she could EVER look!” – What? When did my daughter learn to be a diva?
- My 6 year old informed me that she’ll be a mommy when she’s 14 because I am old and should be a grandma ASAP
- My 4 year old son was crying because his two sisters were picking on him so he turned to them and loudly/confidently declared “Well, You are BOTH ugly!” and walked away. I heard the *Mic Drop*
- My 6 year old forgot to wear underwear one night. Next morning upon discovery she looked at me and said “Mommy, for one night I felt so free”
- My 6 year old often comes up with her own unique language. She called the box on top of our SUV the “bump”, Beauty and the Beast – “Booty and the beast” and she still calls Ketchup “Titchup”, and she calls the trumpet a “fluter”. Her foot is “fuzzing” (numbing) and her nipples are “buttons” – This girl stole my heart a long time ago!
- My 8 year old sings like opera singer. All the time. Then she turns to me and says, “I should get paid for letting you hear me sing” – Seriously?
- I read my 4 year old a bedtime story about apples. Then I said “Red Apple and Grannysmith Apple” – he looks at me and sternly says “Nu uh, that’s not a grannysmith apple, that’s a green apple- try again mama. You are not right” I chose my battles. I admitted to my mistake.
- I work from home and do some travelling and my children always see me dressed up with make-up on. My 8 year old said “When I grow up, I wanna be just like you. A boss lady who does nothing except puts make-up on and just drives everywhere to meetings”
- My 4 year old, when asked what does mommy do? He replies “Changes diapers” (I own my own daycare franchise business).
02 Jul 2017
by smartignani
in Children, Development, Family, Fatherhood, Goals, Growing up, Life, Moms, Motherhood, Parenting, Reflection, Toddlers, Uncategorized
Tags: advice, Babies, child, children, dad, daughter, Decisions, development, Family, father, fatherhood, fathers, God, humour, husband, inspirational, inspire, kids, life, love, mom, mother, motherhood, mothers, normal, Parenting, parents, themes
This is a short compilation of recent mommy moments that I feel the need to share with the world.
- My three year old still thinks that hairplanes depart from the hairport.
- My 19 months old son will randomly go up to dogs anywhere and start bopping up and down – dancing to an imaginary song in his head. Dogs usually love that.
- I spelled out to my husband, very quickly, that a friend is trying to get p-r-e-g-n-a-n-t and my 5 year old immediately asked – “Who is trying to get pregnant mommy?”
- My three year old came up to me and said “Mommy, I love you as much as pickles” then walked away. She doesn’t like pickles that much.
- My husband did the laundry which was awesome. My toddler wore my underwear on his head when someone rang the door and he came running up. Not awesome.
- My five year old exclaimed loudly, in public, “Mommy why is that man screwing around?” as she pointed to a gentlemen who was fixing a chair with a screwdriver.
- My toddler is frustrated that the TV is not touch screen. He can’t swipe anything. So frustrating for him. There are tiny fingerprints literally ALL OVER our TV screen.
- My 3 year old likes to watch TB and often tells people in random places “I love my TB.” As people noticeably and justifiably back away.
- My 5 year old broke down today because it was so hot and said- “I am dehydrated mommy- are you trying to kill me? Hydrate me please, that is all I ask!”
- A magician at a small party asked the kids, what do you breathe out into the balloon- all the kids shouted “air” but my 5 year old declared “Carbon Dioxide!”
- My toddler keeps running away from imaginary people who are trying to tickle him. He then chases same and says “Tickle, tickle, tickle” I think he sees the unseen.
- My 3 year old will sit down for breakfast and have a bowl of cereal then a bowl of oatmeal and then desperately ask “Do we have any more Eggos?”
- My 5 year old blamed mommy when she got in trouble at school, stating and I quote “My mommy made me this way. This is how I was born.”
- My toddler physically removes and carries really heavy items out of the pantry then cries because he doesn’t know how to put them down.
- When asked who she loves more, mommy or daddy, my 5 year old daughter proudly and confidently asserts “God”.
I can’t be prouder and they can’t be more beautiful in my eyes. Thank you Lord for blessing them. Please share your moments if you like!
Smartignani
27 Jun 2017
by smartignani
in Bedtime, Changes, Children, Development, Family, Fatherhood, Goals, Life, Moms, Motherhood, Parenting, Reflection, Tantrums, Transitions, Uncategorized
Tags: abdnormal, advice, bedtime routines, child, children, development, Family, father, fatherhood, fathers, guidance, help, humour, inspire, life, mother, motherhood, mothers, normal, Parenting, parents, themes, tips
Some of our battles are quite epic! Please tell me I am not alone. My preschooler and my kindergartner share a room and a bunk bed and THEY NEVER WANT TO SLEEP!
We have a routine. We change into our pjs, we brush our teeth, we pray in our beds, most nights I read a story, we snuggle and huggle and cuddle and huddle. I rub their back, I play with their hair, I sing songs and I plead, beg, bribe, reward, remind, count-down, count-up, cry, tickle and threaten but NOTHING WORKS!
These kids just won’t sleep. They refuse to succumb to any strategy I have used thus far. The only thing I can think of is splitting them up which will suck for us because we will lose our extra guest room which I use when family comes over. The other reason I don’t want to split them up is because that would mean one of them sharing the bathroom with my toddler who is not a heavy sleeper which means one toilet flush or one song and he is AWAKE! I cannot have that!
I am beaming with pride during the day. They are good, wholesome, beautiful young ladies. They share, they care and they dress themselves. They tidy up when asked to and we operate within a very strict sticker reward system that sees them closer to their goal of going to a fun “place” once they achieve a certain number of stickers. Positive behaviour is rewarded and negative behaviour is also acknowledged through the loss of stickers. It’s an ongoing delicate balance of telling one daughter “You get 2 stickers for listening right away” and telling her sister that “Whining is not acceptable, you will lose one sticker now”.
I feel like we made progress everywhere in their behaviour. Despite my eldest’s incessant arguing (it is part of her curious nature to be inquisitive even though sometimes it feels like she is questioning my authority- it is usually unintentional). The middle child is cautious and every so sensitive, so I feel like we made great gains in making her more confident to experience the world and know that she will always have our love and support. However, together and after the bewitching hour of 7:15 pm, they become tiny hellions that are more boisterous than a small crowd of protesters in front of city hall. I have tried installing a monitor to yell at them through it but it did nothing but make me irate with the sheer amount of shushing and threatening I had to do while they action ideas, which I can hear, that are just no no no no no good!
I read forums about this so I decided to stop listening in and I took away the monitor. I decided to just let them play but all I kept hearing downstairs from their room is banging, thumping, stomping and screaming. They would often wake up their baby brother which would send me into a small dark rage and result in them losing the ability to attend events, visits or even go out in public! My husband kept telling me to stop incentivizing them with what we will be doing next that would be fun and I listened even though that was the only thing that worked with them! If we had a wedding, or party or fun event coming up, I would say “Remember, if you listen and go to sleep tonight, we can go to…and have lots of fun”. It worked beautifully but this did not sit well with my husband so he implemented the strike system.
Strike one, they lose their books and flashlight (yes, they each have 3 or 4 books to read in their bed). Strike two, we close the curtains (we keep them open for daylight and until they sleep) then last strike, we turn off their star nightlight since they do not like the dark- that is absolutely the worst one.
It is working except, if I give a strike then it affects both girls and the eldest usually says “But mommy, why are you punishing me? I’m listening!” And she is right. I don’t know if this is a foolproof system, certainly my 5 year-old is no fool!
So I really don’t know what to do or whether to actually do anything at all. I am blogging about it to see if I am the only one in the mamaverse who is struggling with this. My goodness, some days, I just hate bed time. If I wasn’t sure that they need at least 13 hours of sleep, I wouldn’t have even bothered putting them to sleep at all! And even though I start bedtime at 7:15 pm most nights, they are not usually asleep until 9 or 9:30 pm- crazy right?
There is something wrong with these children. Don’t mince words. Just tell me- WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE CHILDREN?
LOL.
Smartignani
03 Oct 2016
by smartignani
in Babies, Changes, Childcare, Children, Daycare, Development, Family, Goals, Growing up, Holidays, Reflection, Resolutions, Toddlers, Transitions, Uncategorized
Tags: advice, child, children, dad, development, Family, fathers, humour, life, mother, motherhood, mothers, Parenting, parents, school, students, time, work
So Christmas 2016 is around the corner and I am just guffawing at how quickly time is melting away. I am constantly looking at my “babies” (and I am using that term loosely since they are now 3 and 5) and wondering “What the heck happened?”
There is no end to my disbelief that time could possibly move that fast. It needs to SLOW DOWN. Seriously.
My baby, who I feel I just had and brought home yesterday is almost one year old! What?! I’m so saddened yet secretly relieved that he made it this far with his two crazy older sisters jabbing, kicking, poking and kissing the heck out of him!
This year was like so many before it, CRAZY! Is it me or do things get more insane each year you get older?
Let’s see, this year alone I sold my business, almost lost my mom, raised thousands of dollars to save my mom, helped two close friends through some tough times, reconnected with family that I didn’t know before, survived three grueling months of sickness that was passed back and forth between the members of my family, contracted some form of illness that gives me constant and intense bone pain throughout my entire body and I got rammed in the back of my SUV with all my kids in the car. And it is only the beginning of October- OY VEY!
I am grateful and so thankful to God that nothing really bad happened this year. Even though I keep waiting for something really bad to happen- there is, sadly, an ever-present sense of foreboding and doom that resides deep within my soul. I have to intentionally wake up each morning and suppress it like a dormant demon that is inflaming me and trying to steal my joy.
Talking about joy- I have more joy in my life than I can wish for. My children and husband, my family and friends. My brother and sister. My in-laws and nieces and nephews. I am so blessed with such amazing and lovely people in my life that I seldom fear the demons within. But there is one remaining phase in my life, I neither wish to face nor desire to imagine… leaving my children to return to work.
It is very difficult for me to acknowledge this but some days, like all other moms, I have a deep and seated desire to wake up, put make-up on and leave the house to go to a place where I can make money and talk to other adults about stuff other than poopy diapers, dirty dishes and the endless nagging of a threenager. Then almost immediately afterwards, I am plagued with intense guilt combined with profound sadness. I feel like I am giving up on my babies who are growing up too fast (hence the initial part of this post) and I am abandoning them in favour of adult conversation and income stability. I loathe the decision to return to work and I envy the ladies who can afford to stay home with their children but I know in my heart that I am not cut out to be a stay-at-home-mommy. I really don’t like house chores and I am quite tired of my kids by the time noon hits. If I am being very truthful, I look forward to missing them a bit – is that awful to admit?
We were looking at the childcare options available to us and we decided to go with a nanny. With three children (2 full-time and 1 part-time) this was our only option. The nanny will apparently help keep the house tidy and clean as well as take care of my children. We interviewed many people and met many nice ladies in the process. We perfected our questions and made a decision. I will not jinx it yet because it is not confirmed but I do hope she accepts our offer.
I am not sure why I even wrote this post. I just needed to let it be known that I am going back to work and maybe seek validation from other moms who were in my shoes?
If you are that mommy- talk to me and tell me I am not insane and heartless because of my sporadic and intermittent fluctuations of wanting to play grown-up after my maternity leave is up some days and my intensely deep and mourning-like days of loss and pain for the future of my children without me for 9 hours a day.
Talk to me!
SMartignani
30 Aug 2016
by smartignani
in Babies, Changes, Childcare, Children, Development, education, Family, Fatherhood, Goals, Growing up, Kindergarten, Life, Moms, Motherhood, Parenting, Potty Training, Reflection, Tantrums, Toddlers, Transitions
Tags: Babies, Child-Rearing, childhood, childhood development, children, development, discipline, families, Family, father, fatherhood, fathers, kids, mom, moms, mother, motherhood, Parenting, parents, Pegnancy, pregnancy, son, toddlers
I wanted to write this for a while but I don’t think I have enough hours in the day. With three active children under the age of 5, I am like a feather caught in a whirlwind torpedo of activities: potty training, teething, tantrums, tucking in, tickling, travelling and tumultuous transformations. But I am still holding it together… I think.
I am sure o
ther parents can see the wild look in my eyes because I haven’t slept in 6 years or the suspicious glances flicked at me because each of my children including the baby have a bump or scratch (all self-inflicted, I assure you). I am positive that other moms are looking at the way my 5-year-old crosses her arms and stomps and yells “NO! Mommy- I don’t want that!” and thinking that she is spoiled and lacking in discipline. Or shaking their heads when my almost 3-year-old decides to pick her nose and eat it (gross, right?) because we don’t correct her (which we do every time) and that she will forever be a perpetual proboscis picker.
Here is the thing… I don’t really care about what others are thinking or feeling or perceiving or believing. My world is centred on my children whom I know intimately since the moment of their first wail into the world.
I was at the mall the other day and in the little play area and I saw a mother struggling with her toddler while trying to jiggle her baby on her shoulder. She was getting so frustrated and her cheeks were flushed and her baby was getting quite stirred (literally and figuratively) because she was over-jiggling. The two moms next to me were talking about this particular poor soul and saying the following:
Lady 1: “Oh my, that little girl is NOT happy!”
Lady 2: “Mom needs to get a handle on her before X (her own toddler) sees that behaviour and starts to copy it!”
Lady 1: “Some people just don’t know how to control their kids! It’s because she decided to have a baby, the little girl is probably needing attention”
Lady 2: “Exactly! This is why I am spacing mine apart. Exactly for that reason”
At this point, I had enough. I huffed really audibly as I stood up and I spared them one sneer and a quick “You are far from perfect yourselves ladies!” and then I confidently and quickly approached the mom of the melting down toddler and shaken baby and softly said:
“It’s ok, mine do the same thing. My 2-year-old is in there playing happily, for now, can I offer you a hand? I have a baby too but he is sound asleep, would you like me to carry your little angel while you deal with your baby girl?”
The relief that washed over the mother was indescribable. She hesitated for about one second then she gave me her baby. I stood there making googly eyes at the baby and she calmed down and started to give me the sweetest smiles. I was singing her silly songs and dancing with her while her mom was dealing with her sister. The lady told her 2-year-old that she will get some Skittles if she just calms down and tells her what is wrong using her big girl words (we do the same). The toddler stood up and in between bouts of tears and noisy, wet sobs proclaimed, “I pooh”. Profound declaration but adequate explanation of her crappy disposition (pun intended).
Mom told her that it will be ok and that she will change her. Toddler hugged her and looked up and me. I smiled and I handed the baby back to mommy informing her that she will have to change two poopy diapers and that I know exactly what that is like too. She took the baby and the toddler and went to the family washroom. I walked back to the main benches where judgy lady 1 & 2 are sitting and I wedge myself right next to them. My daughter is standing aside as one of their sons shoves another child off the climbing thingy. Lady 2 who was afraid of the toddler’s behaviour affecting her angelic son turns to her friends and says “He is so assertive- isn’t that cute?”
Wow. Perceptions.
I turn to her and gently respond:
“That is not being assertive, that is called being aggressive. Assertive is standing up for yourself and giving your opinion but what he is doing is pushing and shoving other children out of his way. That is being aggressive. So is judging a mom who is in the middle of a toddler meltdown. You should really stop and look at your house made of glass before you start throwing rocks!”
Yup. That happened. True story. I did say all that.
I expected a fight. I expected cursing. I even expected her to punch me in the face.
Instead, I got a teary and ashamed lady who quietly said “You are right. He is a little terror and I don’t know what to do with him? What should I do? He is our only child and I am having a terrible time bearing another child. I am scared that he will be the only child and that he will become a bully. I was bullied in school by a boy. I don’t want my son to be that way.”
Ah, what? What just happened? This, I did not expect.
I proceeded to spend the next hour with this lady and her friend who felt equally ashamed and mom of toddler and baby at the special play place at the mall. After the apologies and the brief discussion about how we should be kind to one another and stop the judging because we ALL need help, we started discussing strategies and parenting tricks that worked for each of us.
My toddler and the baby got tired and hungry and wanted to leave but I certainly did not. We agreed to meet again soon and we even exchanged contact information. We went from being four strangers waiting on their kids to play to four friends who joined the same Mommy Facebook Group.
It was super cool and I even got to hold the little ray of sunshine baby girl again while the lady I helped held my baby boy. All around awesomeness.
Moral of the story:
STOP judging other moms. Get off your butt and help. You are not perfect. Your children are far from perfect as well. The only perfection is founded in our humanity. So like Ellen DeGeneres says “Be kind to one another”.
Love,
SMartignani
16 Jun 2016
by smartignani
in Babies, Changes, Children, Development, Family, Fatherhood, Growing up, Kindergarten, Life, Maternity LEave, Moms, Motherhood, Parenting, Reflection, school, Toddlers, Transitions, Uncategorized
Tags: Babies, Child-Rearing, childhood development, children, dad, dads, daughter, development, discipline, families, Family, father, fatherhood, fathers, humour, kids, life, love, mom, moms, mother, motherhood, Parenting, parents, son, toddlers
Some days I feel really accomplished and others…not so much. I have really enjoyed this maternity leave particularly because it is my last. It also helps that I sold my businesses so I am free to enjoy motherhood to the fullest extent.
Of course, there was that stint of anxiety and bout of despair when my mom was dying in the ICU (she recovered thank God) and since then, without fail, one of my three kids has been vitally ill on any given day. But overall, I am doing more enjoying than fretting and that is an accomplishment.
My life has drastically evolved since the third child. Ok, who am I kidding? It has been revolutionized. I feel like chaos can really be a way of life now. I sit back sometimes and I just laugh at the absurdity of everything. For example, last week on a Saturday, my eldest accidentally head-butted the baby which caused a stream of tears and a very angry cry while my toddler ran face-first into the wall and ended up with a bloody nose – all at the same time. This all happened in the blink of an eye. Everyone was crying. I was laughing hysterically, like an evil scientist who openly relishes the sound of children’s cries. Sometimes to ensure your sanity- you just have to laugh at it all. Everyone was fine and with some tissue paper for the bloody nose, a few cuddles and tickles for the head-butt injury and a gentle “It’s ok honey, it was an accident” – everyone was fine.
I wanted to take a minute and just say this… am I the only one who feels like I am back in high-school and trying to fit in when I go pick up my daughter from kindergarten? Parents can be really clique-ish- no? I was waiting outside today and I looked over to find two moms talking quietly. I waved and said “Hello” and it was an audible “Hello” not one of these mousey, shy “Hellos” – know what I mean? Anyway, one mom just gave me this contrived smile and the other ignored me altogether. Wow. Maybe I’m just not cool enough to talk to them. Maybe they are hating my new hairdo. Maybe I offended them with my strong and confident “Hello”… I don’t know. All I know is, I have a choice not to get too obsessed in wanting to be accepted because at my age- I don’t care what others think of me. I know that makes me sound awful but truly- if you are going to judge me and not even get to know me then it’s your loss- not mine. Because I honestly think I’m a pretty awesome person! There. Take that. On to more important things…
I am on a mission to shed the pounds I gained in my three pregnancies. I gained quite a few pounds so it’s taking a while. I’m close to starving all the time but I am too scared to stop because the doctor almost guaranteed Diabetes if I don’t shed the weight. I find it easier to remain on course when I think about my kids. I want to be there for their graduations, weddings, and maybe even for their own kids. I don’t want to be the old, fat mom who looks 20 years older than she really is. What will the clique-ish Lululemon moms at the school think of me and my fat “hellos” then- huh?
My eldest daughter is taking oral laxatives behind my back. I swear the kid never shuts up. I love it but I hate it at the same time. She’s so interesting and everything she says is adorable but when I’m trying to actually get her moving, it’s next to impossible. She is not a multi-tasker. She was gifted with the gift of gab. I can’t believe how much she talks. And here I was wondering if her language skills will develop because she wasn’t really speaking by the age of 2.5. Really? I shouldn’t have worried. I am hoping my middle daughter will NOT learn to speak until she’s 5. That way, I won’t have competing trance-talking going on. It’s too funny. I can tune her out and she will just keep on talking and yakking. Then she will stop sometimes and ask “Right Mama?” but I have to be careful. What am I agreeing to? So I say “Which part is right?” See? Sneaky, smart, strategic momma is at play here. I mentally pat myself on the back when she replies by reiterating the last phrase that needed confirmation. I’m in the clear. I will either agree or correct her thoughts and then the droning will begin again. Sometimes, I drift away in my mind about my to-do list or a recent commercial I saw or how I need to cut the baby’s toenails because he is quite literally growing them out like some gross racoon paws and then I suddenly hear her say something like… “And then I’m like CRAP DUDE, why are you being such a donut and he says because you are short like a hobbit and I’m like I don’t even know what a hobbit is and then I walk away but my shorts are dirty because of the grass on my butt. Butt is a funny word. Did you know another word for butt is ash. Today I heard this big kid call his brother an ash-hole. That’s funny- right momma?”
Me: “No Sweetheart, Ash is not a nice word and it’s not funny. That boy should not talk to his brother like that. God wants us to be kind to one another and not call each other names”.
Her: “So how come daddy calls me a Hoggler and my sister a Donut and my baby brother Stinky?”
Me: “Daddy is just joking with you and none of those names are rude.”
Her: “Ok. Any way so today in school I….”
And on and on and on and on and on. Phew, close one. Note to self- talk to the hubby. Tell him the story- and laugh about it later!
My middle kid is temperamental, defiant and intelligent. Every trait she picked up from me. I’m not ashamed to admit the truth. She looks like me, she yells like me and most of all, she’s got this low, manly laugh like me! When I was younger, I would answer the phone and my voice was so deep, people would think they are talking to my dad. So it’s either my poppa sounds like a woman or I had the deep, vibrato voice of a man. Until now, when I wake up and try to talk, I sound like my husband. It’s ok, I’ve come to terms with this quirky attribute. Let’s leave it there. Maybe that’s why the moms at her school won’t talk to me? I must be confusing them with my manly, confident “Hello”. Oh well…
The baby is the best. He’s like a good book, I can’t put him down. Lately, my favourite thing to do in the entire world (which is hyperbolic at best since it’s not but let’s go with it) is making him giggle. Is there a better sound in this universe than a baby’s heart-felt giggle? If you say yes, then you are heartless or need to go get yourself a baby and make him giggle. Don’t hate- appreciate. Besides, I have to blow on his belly and tickle his feet then motorboat his neck in order to get the full-on giggle that can be heard down the street. It’s so much work, I end up sweating and only catching glimpses of his enormous, blissful, drooling open mouth and eyes that sparkle with laughter as well. The thing is, when you tickle a baby, you have to do it quickly and consecutively.They have such short attention spans that they will literally forget you were playing with them and just move on from said activity. Then you are left saying things like “Hello” and having them not respond to you… ahem ahem…like some people!!
Finally, I would like to state my horror at how sick the world is today. I’m not going to dig too deep or go into many details but suffice it to say, I’m afraid for my children’s futures. Pedophiles, mass shootings, addictions, mental unhealth, impoverished moralities, victimized abusers, and an endless cycle of evil begetting evil. I’m sure that such things existed since the beginning of time but everyday I wake up and there is another stark reminder that our world is sick. I am sure that everything bad is known much quicker because of social media and sometimes, one just can not turn it off. I often wonder why people post all those negative things on their wall. Why not use your power to influence the friends on your list with positivism. We need more love – people. More acceptance and forgiveness. We need to set an example to our children. We need to show kindness and openness. We all bleed red. We all need to be accepted.
Except me and those moms. I’m over it. Really. Done and done.
Good night and God bless. And like Ellen always says- “Be kind to one another”.
Smartignani
10 Sep 2015
by smartignani
in Children, Development, education, Growing up, Kindergarten, Life, Moms, Motherhood, Parenting, Reflection, school
Tags: anxieties, Child-Rearing, childhood development, children, dads, daughter, development, dreams, families, Family, fatherhood, fathers, fears, growing up, kids, Kindergarten, moms, mothers, new school year, Parenting, parents, school, students
Okay. So my little baby who started me on writing these blogs back in 2011 is now starting junior kindergarten! I can’t believe how time flew. I am terrified of her going to school.
She is not scared but then again, she has no idea how mean kids can be and how hard school can be. She wears glasses. She is too little. She has a slight lisp. She cries- A LOT.
She is a walking magnet for a bully!
I am not sure what I can do to overcome this senseless and paralyzing fear of her going to school. Other than set her up with a nanny cam to track everything that happens, everyday, at every minute while she is away from me. Wait- that is a fabulous idea!! No, but wait, where can I hide it without it being completely and utterly obvious?
I can’t believe I am even thinking it. Spying on my child. For her own good? OMG. I am one of those moms!!
Ok. Deep breath. It is going to be ok. She is going to be alright. I don’t need to worry. I am being paranoid. Overreacting. Absolutely and incredibly overprotective.
I need to let her go. Millions of parents do it every year around the globe. She went to Summer Camp with children up to grade 6. She was fine. Mind you, her daddy was there the entire time (it was at our business and he is the principal at the camp) but still… she was good. The older boys and girls loved her. She defended herself and even gave the teachers a piece of her mind when she needed to but what if…
No… no what ifs. I am sending her to school tomorrow with confidence. I taught her to be kind. I taught her to speak up when she is angry or hurt. I taught her to run and scream when a stranger (be it man or woman, boy or girl) ask her if she wants a candy bar or invite her into their cars.
I taught her to remain close to her teachers. Not to let anyone touch her in her private places. I told her to tell me if anything hurts and if anyone hurts her in anyway.
I think I taught her enough. I think she will remember everything I taught her- hopefully.
Tomorrow, I will muster my courage and surrender the single most treasured being in my life to an educator. Tomorrow, I will look into the teacher’s eyes and let her know that she will have the power over my soul. My eldest child who was my greatest achievement of 2011. My daughter who is my angel and her younger sister’s light.
Tomorrow is the beginning of 18 years of academic challenges and accomplishments. 18 years of learning and scholastic strides. 18 years of incarcerated and strategic environmental osmosis of information.
Tomorrow is her first day of school and I almost wish it took a little longer for tomorrow to come.
43.653226
-79.383184
06 Mar 2014
by smartignani
in Babies, Changes, Childbirth, Childcare, Children, Daycare, Development, Family, Fatherhood, Growing up, Holidays, Home Daycare, Maternity LEave, Moms, Motherhood, Parenting, Potty Training, Toddlers, Transitions
Tags: advice, Babies, celebrate, childbirth, childhood, childhood development, children, dad, dads, daughter, development, discipline, families, Family, father, fatherhood, kids, life, love, mom, moms, mother, motherhood, Parenting, parents, toddlers
There is nothing more painful or exhilarating than successfully potty training your child. You feel like you won an Oscar or climbed the highest mountain. The sense of achievement you felt the day you graduated or obtained your first real promotion is no comparison… as if you did this all on your own. Then the stark realization smacks you upside the head that this is what your parents must have felt like when you did something great growing up.
I don’t think I can be a prouder mommy than when my little toddler goes – “Mommy, I nee’ to Pee pee now”. We rush over to the toilet, we pull down the pants and then… the sweet sound of freedom- aaahhhh. No more pull-ups, stinky messes, nasty blow-outs or wet pants. Sooooooooo exciting!!
I look at my toddler and see the little preschooler emerging and ask – “When did that happen?!” – hence the title. But seriously, when did she start talking in complete sentences? When did she start empathizing with me (“Awww, mommy, you are so cute- are you hurt?”) When did she turn into this inquisitive, intelligent, insanely happy child?
These past few months have been challenging but fun. I have been busy trying to re-energize my business and manage my staff that I forgot to see the little changes in my big girl along the way. This morning she woke me up a little earlier and I spoke with her and played with her. She surprised me with how much she’d grown in the past three weeks. She knows which mitt goes where. She can put her boots on the right feet on her own. She understands that letters makes sounds. She know how to sing “A,B,C,D,E,F,G, next time sing, A,B,C,D,E,F,G” (and repeat) and she counted to 20!
I am in awe of how like her father she is becoming. It is really a good thing I love him so much because she reminds me so much of him. Her mannerisms, her thoughtful moments, her sweet affection and even her expressions. No surprise since she spends majority of her time with him instead of me.
I must confess that I am also tremendously enjoying my baby too. She shows me affection in her own way. She likes to be held at night and to sleep in my arms. Sure, it makes it tough for daddy to put her to bed when he is alone with her, but there is no stronger bond and no better feeling that having her fall almost instantly asleep when I carry her and rock her. She likes to hear me whisper to her and sometimes she just strokes me with her little, tiny fist. I feel especially blessed in those moments.
In the mornings, she is the happiest little baby I know. She just plays and rocks herself and flaps her little arms like wings. Her smiles and giggles are so contagious that she just subliminally compels me to pick her up so we can snuggle and play. Her demeanor is so different than her big sister. Her moods are so much milder and she is patient, calm and very stubborn!
I love them both 100% but differently. I can’t live without either of them and I am just so full of emotion when I see either of them hit a milestone or learn something new.
Between the one baby rolling and the other one peeing in the toilet, I feel like my heart can just burst with pride right now.
Until next time,
SMartignani
05 Feb 2014
by smartignani
in Babies, Changes, Childbirth, Childcare, Children, Daycare, Development, Family, Fatherhood, Growing up, Maternity LEave, Moms, Motherhood, Parenting, Toddlers, Transitions
Tags: advice, Babies, celebrate, childhood development, children, dad, daughter, development, families, Family, father, fatherhood, gratitude, kids, life, love, mom, moms, mother, motherhood, Parenting, parents, toddlers
So for those who know me, you know how busy I can be. I have varied interests and obligations and I thrive on being constantly and consistently booked. I don’t know why but that is what keeps me going (I sure don’t like that mommy in the image though… I wish!)
I am not complaining at all because I was blessed with so many gifts. This is one of those rare posts where I will side-step the sarcasm and defeat my natural inclination towards humour by counting my blessings.
To contextualize, two Octobers ago, I attended a wonderful feel-good session by an amazing guest speaker called Isabelle Fontaine and she told us an effective and unforgettable story about how she leveraged the feeling of gratitude to feel happy after a painful experience in her life.
So I am not taking this blog lightly (although my ulterior motive for this post is to explain why I haven’t posted for a long time, not an excuse- just an explanation).
Here are my blessings:
1) A God who is gracious, merciful, long-suffering and plenteous in mercy and compassion. And a Church that keeps me disciplined, deliberate in my faith and dedicated to the Lord (thank you SMSV).
2) A yummy hubby who loves me and spoils me. He cuddles me without asking and smiles my way when I need it most. How blessed I am with your love.
3) 2 beautiful daughters who appear to be surprisingly full of big personalities and vivacity.
4) My mom, dad, brother, sister, sister-in-law, nieces, nephews and parents-in-law (and Mike- ha ha) who support me, trust me and apparently find me worthy of their love.
5) An amazing business called Oxford Learning Centre with amazing staff and equally incredible families.
6) My best friends who supported me through the years and continue to be the solid splash of shining stars in the night sky of my day-to-day shenanigans.
7) My colleagues at work who are strong, beautiful and courageous- inspiring me to always be more than just good enough.
8) An awesome job at the Government of Canada that awaits me when I return from Maternity Leave. (The maternity leave itself is a blessing because I get an entire year off… I know my neighbours south of the border get only 90 days. Can you imagine leaving your baby so soon. My heart goes out to you- move to Canada!)
9) Every moment and every breath that I get on earth to live my life, cuddle my loved ones and realize my dreams.
10) My Car. I love my car. Oh and thank you Youtube for teaching me how to knit.
Honestly, I think that is my top 10 list so far. There is so much more but I have to say the things above and the people mentioned do keep me pretty busy!
Until next time (which hopefully will be sooner than this time),
SMartignani
14 Jan 2014
by smartignani
in Babies, Changes, Childbirth, Childcare, Children, Daycare, Development, Family, Fatherhood, Growing up, Maternity LEave, Moms, Motherhood, Parenting, Potty Training, Toddlers, Transitions, Uncategorized
Tags: Babies, childhood, childhood development, children, dad, dads, daughter, daycare, development, discipline, families, Family, father, fatherhood, humour, kids, life, love, mom, moms, mother, motherhood, Parenting, parents, son, toddlers
Here is the thing. The truth is being a parent is not all that bad. There is a silver lining to the sleepless nights, the irritating whining, the endless crying, the anxiety, the nasty poops and the interminable temper tantrums. I will not even mention the incessant screaming, embarrassing sounds and scents or the countless hours spent coaxing, rubbing, carrying, bouncing, singing, humming, gurgling, rasberrying, silly face making to appease/please/calm/restore/distract/heal/put to sleep/make’em laugh/discipline/show them you love them.
Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, the silver lining. Ok. So here is a list of some silly things you get to do as a parent that you could not do before (at least in public):
1) Your cartoon movie collection has now exponentially increased and surprisingly you stocked it with some classic movies that we all know junior will not even understand yet (Transformers? Voltron? Pink Panther? Felix the Cat? really??)
2) You have come to terms with the difference between what “messy” looked like before you had kids and now. A toy here or there and a book lying around your nice living room (where you greet guests) is not messy at all. As opposed to pre-children when you would dust, clean, mop and vacuum. Now we are lucky if we don’t trip over the tiny wind up car left on the floor by the stairs… there it is, I was looking for you car.
3) You realize now that naps are not a luxury but a necessity…for you. Not the kids.
4) Farting in public is so much easier now that you can blame it on the children!
5) Spit-up does not smell very bad after a couple of hours. It has a natural baby-je-ne-se-quoi scent to it that makes people lean in closer and nuzzle you.
6) Baby powder ain’t just for kids… fun fun fun for the whole family! We find remnants of that stuff in every orifice of the house afterwards!
7) You don’t really need to hang out with anyone you don’t want to hang out with for extended periods of time because junior is going to get hungry/tired/manic/restless/sleepy/gassy/thirsty/sick… you decide on the excuse because we all know that is exactly what it is.
8) You realize that your true friends are the ones who will love you and your kids even through the stage of TEETHING when your child turns into Dr. Jekyll.
9) Moms, you look at yourselves in the mirror and feel good about how thin you are compared to when you were pregnant… the little hanging fold of skin is superficial. Bio Oil makes it disappear, trust Dr. Oz!
10) You never appreciated being alone with your spouse/friends more than when you can drop the kids off at the grandparents/baby-sitters and go out finally… there is an adrenaline rush that occurs accompanied by feelings of euphoria for the temporary freedom. Seriously though, you love your kids but everyone needs a little break dude.
11) You have an excuse to get to Church a little late… and leave a little early… and eat those yummy sandwiches first.
12) You develop a new appreciation for left-over, pre-digested food and candy and juices of all kind. Everywhere you go, you seem to be finishing your child’s plate/drink/sandwich
13) You have made up the words to at least three nursery rhymes/Christmas Carols/Songs/Hymns… like seriously… who knows all the words to Frosty the Snowman?
14) You are getting to be a master at skipping pages in a long storybook without your child noticing…
15) you are memorizing by heart all the words to Dr. Seuss books
16) You are definitely checking the time every 15 minutes when you get close to bed-time and you are secretly planning what you will do in the two hours from 8 pm to 10 pm after the kids sleep. So many exciting things to do, shall I knit or take a bath or cook tomorrow’s meal or catch up on the last episode of Big Bang or just, oh look its already 10 pm and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
17) You most likely have your phone ringers off after a certain time as to not awake the kids so you really don’t talk on the phone much.
18) You recognize now how vital daycare is…no matter the cost… we will stop eating if it means 8 hours of peace and quiet!
19) You find yourself wondering the weirdest things before you go to sleep like why is the alphabet song is the same tune as twinkle, twinkle little star and who invented Sophie the Giraffe and why on earth you didn’t…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
20) After a crappy day doing whatever it is you do, NOTHING and I mean NOTHING is better than getting a huge, sloppy, wet kiss from your kids or a genuine smile from your infant.
If that’s not the silver lining, I don’t know what is!!
Until next time,
Smartignani
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My three babies are not babies anymore! Look how much they’ve grown!
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