smartignani

Talking, teething and temper tantrums.

Well, she is talking now. Sort of. And she will not stop. She talks as if she really has things to say and it is partly funny and partly confuddling. I enjoy seeing her attempting to copy the conversations and I listen closely to the intonations of speech that mark per-linguistic perception. Her vocabulary is spectacular, I can already tell!

She is also teething which is always a pleasure, or so I hear. She is great during the day but at night, one or two hours before bedtime she Mr. Hydes it on me and begins to be a very whiny and irritable child. It feels like I am suddenly just not good enough or fast enough or smart enough. She looks at me with some undisguised anger and frustration. Her expressions portray limitless patience run dry and unbeguiled disappointment. There is nothing quite more disquieting than when you feel your baby looking at you and clearly thinking “You just don’t get it- do ya?”

So I write today from the corner of my couch as my husband and father of my baby plays a video game and she is sound asleep. I also spoke to a few people today at my church who not only openly admitted that they read my blogs but that they like them! I am amazed that my candid thoughts in blog form can be enjoyed and I am flattered. I enjoy knowing that others are reading and sympathizing/agreeing/disagreeing/raging/crying/scoffing/mocking/sharing my blog. There is no better feeling than knowing I am being related to through my experiences as a first time mom. I am tempted to give my blog address to new moms in the street but I live in constant fear of being the next blog-ovah witness.

Back to my blog. In trying to make this entry really exciting, I will rhyme everything:

My baby is now 8 months old and a week, she yammers on as if she can speak

She is teething and seething at bedtime nightly, crying, contorting her face- unsightly

She is stubborn, strong as well as strong-willed, take her toy and oh if only looks killed

My baby is loud and proud and vocal too, as I look helplessly around- what should I do?

My embarrassment at her screeching is inevitable at best,yet I am sure she is just like the rest

New moms often seek to find if their babies are normal, may it be through inquiries both direct or informal

But only reassurance and confirmation is what I seek, even though I know my baby is unique

I am a blank slate in the parenting foray, which is why I ask, beg, plead and pray

That I don’t accidentally miss a step or stage and suddenly mess her up for an entire age

It seems there is one question that is constantly on mind…

        When oh when, is it a good time...

…to start the sippy cup…to buy her a pup…to stop bottles in bed…to give her some bread…to start daycare…to cut her hair…to change the car seat…to put shoes on her feet…to push her to crawl…to let her just sprawl…to potty train…to teach her to deal with pain…to teach the ABC’s…to teach the 123’s…to linguistically diversify…to teach colours and how to classify…to let her cry it out…to let her figure it out

It seems that as a mom I worry about each and every step, stage and milestone,

But I know she will figure everything out on a timeline that is all her own,

So I stand aside and in awe observe, as she lives life with carefree diligence and endless verve,

I am amazed at how excited she is to begin each day, deep inside I wish she would stay this way

I know because I was a cranky teen, that soon things will change from the way they have been,

But until she turns 10 and starts to refuse my kiss, not a moment, a heart-beat or chance I will miss

This may be my first time around the motherhood block, but I know that I’m in a race against the clock,

I have been told over and over again, that time really flies and that it is almost insane,

I believe and I see it for she is 8 months and a week, and she yammers on as if she can speak!

Take Care,

Smartignani

Mother and wife

B.A. Psychology and B.Ed

I hate teething.

That’s it.

Take care.

Smartignani

I am trying to fit everything in. It seems like the days are so long yet so short. The hours drag when the baby is crying and almost fly by when she’s asleep. The hubby and I are starting to fall asleep much earlier than our pre-parenting, blissful days. I can’t believe that my body clock has adjusted itself to waking up at 7:55 am. And now that I am waking up at that ungodly hour, my baby has decided to sleep in longer. So I am standing crib side while she’s snoozing in dreamland. What’s up with that?

Night time routines are followed religiously and no one can break them- not even natural disasters. I can see it now- “Oh look honey, there’s a tornado outside!” – “Well let’s hope it comes and goes before 8:00 pm because we need to put her to bed!”

There is infinite wisdom in the need for routines. I truly believe that parents need them too. They are a comforting sign that soon the baby will sleep and we can finally do adult things- like eating popcorn, watching movies and of course, engage in some real, deep, interactive, awesome CONVERSATION! When she is awake it is almost impossible to complete three consecutive sentences without an interjection of “She needs a bottle”, “Is she teething?”, “She discovered her voice, I guess”.

Talking about that- WOW- did she ever discover her voice? She screams randomly, everywhere. What’s up with that? She yells at me, at the bottle, the teddy bear, the toys, the mobile, the TV, the chair, the cookie- WHY?! Why is she yelling? I don’t know. I like to think it’s because she can and it’s tolerable, for now but really- still very annoying. I can’t wait until she’s three and can finally understand and then show her what she did by yelling at everything like her. That will be funny.

But wait, this wasn’t why I initially wanted to write this blog. I had a point I wanted to make because I didn’t want this blog to be like every other blog I wrote- pointless. This one will have a point. By hook or crook. So here it is.

Have you ever noticed that moms on maternity leave are like bears in a cave. I was speaking to a new mom friend or what I like to call a “Momrade”- and I noticed something- she didn’t know a song that was playing all over the radio by this artist called Rihanna. I was like “Seriously?” and she was so I let it go. Then I reflected on my own life and yeah, very true, my point is valid because my hubby was like “Who names their kid Mitt anyway?” and I’m like “Who’s Mitt?” and my husband looks at me with a wayward eye-brow lift and says “You don’t know who Mitt Romney is?” I did, I think. He was some dude in the United States that is doing something but what, I had no clue. Apparently he is of some note since he is running for the presidency. Meh, how was I supposed to know?

Seriously though- why is it that Momrades [unfortunately I need to give credit for the word to Renee Elise- she thought of it first] are so in the dark? I will tell me why- it’s because we have more important things to do like sustain the life we bore and created and now is crying endlessly and incessantly in order to eat the next jar of baby food or suck back the next bottle of formula or suckle on the breast. We are the caregivers, nutritionists, entertainers, secretaries, chauffeurs, deliverers, nurses, chefs, educators, estheticians, valets, butlers, cleaners and cookers for the single most demanding and sweetest creature ever- our child.

I don’t think I understood what multi-tasking truly was until I had a baby. Now I can eat and feed her at the same time. I can also change her diapers, talk on the phone and reach for a new sleeper with my toes simultaneously. I am starting to recognize the value of being able to achieve so much in such little time. The half hour naps she takes that are sprinkled through the day are little gifts of time that require my full energy because it is borrowed time and a very, very narrow window of opportunity. I need to touch up my roots, pluck the eye-brows AND shower. Then I will try and wrap the housewarming gift for a friend and write a few birthday cards for occasions coming up. I will then create the shopping list for… wait… never mind, she woke up.

Ok. So my point is, fellow momrades, I understand. you don’t have to know the latest hit song nor memorize the names of recent candidates that are running for United States presidents but you SHOULD try and read the highlights on the Internet or watch the 11 o’clock news. That way people don’t start thinking that brain cells are dying as we care for our little ones and learning to speak “babynese” (again, my word) is not a current affair nor international news. So get out there and shed those housecoats and take a walk to your nearest news stand/Shopper’s Drug Mart/Convenience store. Buy the paper and read something soon. FYI- Newspaper is awesome for babies who are learning to sit up because they drool and newspaper stops the saliva from pooling on the hardwood floor which is a safety hazard because you can slip and fall!

So that is my entry for tonight. Before I leave you, here are some current news tidbits you might want to read about (thought I would start you off):

• Crime bill close to becoming law
• Missing cruise passenger was in troubled relationship
• SUV in Alberta crash drove at other vehicles, witness says
• Thousands attend B.C. teachers’ rally at legislature
• Obama chides Republicans for ‘big talk’ of Iran
• Elections Canada denied new powers by Tories, MPs say
• B.C. gangsters in over their heads in Mexico

There. You are now caught up. YOU ARE WELCOME!

Until next time,

SMartignani

I migrated ALL my blogs from Google and here they are!.

Ok. So I was reflecting the other day on how beautiful my daughter is and how spoiled she is because she is the centre of her daddy’s and my world when I realized… I may potentially be raising a diva-ish, princess who is snotty, inconsiderate, obnoxious and selfish UNLESS… she gets a sibling. Besides, everyone at Church and on the home front is like- “Hey, when are you going to have another one?” And two of my good friends are pregnant or just popped out a second baby even though their babies are barely 15 months old! So I say… so what if I am just starting to enjoy sleep… who cares about the fact that my incision from the C-section is still apparent and hurts when I bust out laughing and so what if I am just starting to regain a semblance of intimacy with my husband! I say- bring it!

Daycare costs are $275 a week – WHAT?! That is a tremendous amount of money and I know that I am investing in caregiving for my child but $275 a week is expensive! Not that I would give less for a cheaper, no name place but still, how can people afford more than one kid anyway? I am seriously contemplating hiring a nanny. We can pay her $1000 a month and have her take care of the baby and clean the house! That would be a double whammer and very useful I think. But we would have to deal with immigration, CRA and many more government departments before that happens. Also, I have seen those horror shows (namely Jerry Springer and Montel Jones) where the nannies try and seduce the husband not that he ever will, but you can never trust anyone these days. Sad but true. Still, hiring a nanny and having a clean house is a possibility- I think?
On the other side of everything, I am starting to love the fact that my baby has a set sleep time now (I jinxed myself because it is 10:47 and she is still, shockingly awake but the hubby is taking care of her so I can write my blog- that is what good hubbies do- thank you sweetie). Back from the tangent, I love the fact that 99% of the time; she goes to bed at 9ish. Which is great for my husband and I because it gives us lots of time to spend together talking, watching movies and eating popcorn (personal favourite and no, it is not a euphemism for anything else!) The fact that I have “adult” time is awesome except it is deterring me from wanting to get re-pregnant for the second time. I mean, what if the next baby is super-duper fussy and has colic. What if he or she is loud, squeaky, sickly or whiny? I know, right, my baby now- none of those things. She is an angel. Seriously, no bias just telling it as it is. She is quiet, well-mannered, even tempered, calm and serious. She rarely laughs and it would only be for really funny things (she has an eccentric and intelligent sense of humor), I like to think that this will be an indication of her future personality. Fun not flighty, thoughtful not flimsy and serious about life!

So what do I do? Ah, the ageless question after “Why am I here?” and “Where are you God?”

I think I will continue being the darnest best mommy I can be as I try and shove as much information in her bigger than average brain and just wait it out. I will continue with the lullabies, the cooing and the endless stream of silly noises that I can make with my mouth by slapping my tongue against my teeth. I believe that it will happen when it is meant to happen and I will be ready when it does. I am ready now but I am not sure if I’m still in the full mode of healthy thinking. As you can tell from two blogs ago, I am still hormonal so my mind may change tomorrow. For tonight, I will go to sleep and think of newborn baby skin and little baby feet. I will not think of the pain or misery of waiting to find out if the baby is healthy or if my body made it through the gestative transaction of pain for the miracle of life. I will forget the sleepless nights of waking every 3 hours to feed and the frustrating attempts at breast feeding. I will not recall the months of back pain, sciatica, puffiness and missing ankles. I will only remember one thing… my baby now is the result of the love of two and for my next, it will be the result of the love of three…

As I end this post, I must share that I am so blessed to have my baby now and that even if I can’t have anymore children, a fear all or most women have, I am still so grateful for what I have now.

Bless you and your families and until next time.

SMartignani

WARNING: this may turn you off adopting 6 months old babies!

I thought I would get over the hormonal hump post pregnancy and pre-menopause… WHAT IS HAPPENING?

I look at my baby as she sleeps with little fists at either sides of her sweet little chubby face and start to tear up. I was trying to sing a song to her about how much I love her- ad lib- because I am that good, and I started crying! What the heck man? I am not a crier, not really. I only cry when I am really mad or really happy but not often and not this easily. I am perturbed and absolutely baffled as to why I am still so hormonal… is this permanent? Another symptom of parenthood that has conveniently been forgotten from the flood of advice and warnings I received while I was pregnant?

Why do I possess this strong tendency to shed tears when I see my baby reaching out with her little stubby hands through the crib bars to touch me? Why do the human lacrimal fluids (scientific description of “tears”) become apparent every time she looks at me and genuinely, sincerely and whole heartedly smiles?

This phenomenon must have an explanation, a rational and logical analysis that will give me some hope of becoming my old, non-crying self again. I am appalled when she smiled at me in the dollar store and mumbled what I know sounded suspiciously close to “mama” (wasn’t but I am entitled to hear what I want ok???) anyway, I actually stopped the stroller and went “Did you just call me mama?” and there it was… a clear liquid drop from the corner of my right eye. I blame the strong cheap incense smell in the aisle and the strange blue chemical seeping out of the candy package hanging next to the socks (I’m not sure why candy is next to clothing anyway, hey it’s the dollar store, you can’t really question much). I digress. I was crying.

Why?

I have no clue.

It was embarrassing. I left. I actually walked out of the dollar store with nothing which is rare and almost impossible for me since I always buy something from the dollar store because let’s face it- it’s ONLY a dollar!!

A close friend who reads my blogs made me realize that my daughter is not yet 6 months old. I was counting by weeks which is funky since some months have five weeks and so on but that would mean her birthday would change every year which would be fun but not practical (sorry for the run on  sentence). So I realized if we are counting by months, then my daughter will not be 6 months until January 17. Which is awesome for me because I thought I was growing old too quickly … and thanks to my friend, my baby’s birthday will not vary each year and be inconsistent like my moods and hormones (which are the reason I wrote this blog to begin with!)
On to an important topic that I want to discuss before I close. Christmas. What’s the deal with parents going out and buying a million toys for their kids. Really? Is that what the theme is now? Who gets the best toy or the biggest doll or the shiniest train? Why have we forgotten the real meaning of Christmas? Santa Claus, a legendary and mythical man who GIVES gifts to children on Christmas Eve. Christmas is about giving and that is what I want to teach my baby. I am no scrooge and you better believe that I will be buying her gifts and wrapping them and putting them under the tree. However, I want to teach her the true meaning of the season. In our faith, Christmas means the birth of a saviour who wanted to gift us with a very special gift- his life. In turn, every Christmas, I want to teach her the true meaning of giving. Go out and do some sort of community service or donate a certain amount of money to a charity we choose together. I want her to eventually donate some of her toys to children who are in need and have less that she does. Is that wrong?

Am I the Grinch?

My husband and I have differing opinions and approaches and I think that this is due to our backgrounds and upbringing. I am sure she will be spoiled by her grandparents and that is a given. I am also sure that she will be excited Christmas morning to see what Santa left for her under the tree. Nevertheless, I want her to look forward to a family tradition like baking cookies or singing carols together as a family. That is my hope for the coming year- I will let you know how that goes!

I hope everyone had a fantastic new year and a wonderful Christmas that saw families come together and enjoy the food, laughter and memories. I wish you all the best in 2012 and please let me know what you think of my Christmas Rant… we can call it that for now =)

Take care,
S Martignani

So I had the perverse misconception that things would get easier. I think not.

Ok. So I am supposed to be the adult here but sometimes I look at her and seriously ask- “Really? Was that the problem? Really… was it worth it for you? I have a migraine and you look like you do too from your own crying!”

Here are several things I wished moms would have told me before I considered having children:

1) The constant bickering between my hubby and I about how and when and what to do with our shared new responsibility. It’s not bad bickering; it’s healthy and assertive communication really but still… I want him to know that I know everything and he researches everything so he can know everything as well. Unfortunately, I don’t know everything and not everything on the Internet is accurate so we bicker *ehem* I mean, communicate and realize that at the end of the day, it is what is best for her that counts. So I will give in a little and so will he… and she will end up with double the toys and twice the clothes.

2) The constant need to check her breathing. What is going on??? I’m obsessed. Really. I am tired of me! I see myself outside my body and think “What a freak?” So I know it and I’m aware but I can’t stop. She’s sleeping soundly and I am listening for her grunts or sighs. If none are forthcoming in the past 5 minutes, I am worried and anxious and placing my index finger under her nose in hopes of feeling her breaths. If that doesn’t work, then maniacal mom gets up and actually uncovers her baby to see her chest rising which undoubtedly wakes the baby up a little because she got cold and she opens one eye and looks at me like “Lady… are you ok?”

3) Dreaming of a drink.I love being with my baby and I know my husband does too but is it normal to want a drink at 10 in the morning? I am exaggerating, maybe at 12:30 in the afternoon. The point is, before she came along, my hubby and I had a drink almost every Friday night (Date night). It wasn’t much… a small cocktail, a Caesar or even a glass of good old Coca-Cola Classic with some pop-corn….yum. But now… no more. I always worry about her waking up at night and we can’t really stay up too late because she needs to go to bed and of course, I won’t leave her in her room, in her crib alone without me checking her breathing because God forbid if I don’t, she won’t then where will we all be??

4) Cabin Fever. I didn’t think it would be possible. I thought I was going to be the exception. The one mom who was super-duper uber ecstatic to be home with her baby. I thought I would be the next Martha Stewart and pick up painting and learn some French while I’m home. Not so much. I find myself aching to be useful again. I know that being a mommy is super important but sometimes I feel a little societally idle and wish to have some work to do! Don’t quote me on this because I might change my mind tomorrow and in case my boss is reading this blog… I still don’t miss the meetings!

5) Reconsidering the future and all my hopes, dreams and aspirations.I can’t believe I’m writing this but now more than ever, I want to be rich. Not filthy but just enough so I can stay home and be with my baby while she grows up. Funny that I write this point after I just finished ranting about cabin fever but hey, no one said that I love extremes. If I can get a job that incorporates my daughter or a part-time position, that would be ideal. Everyone says open a daycare but that would be a lot of work and to be honest, I am busy taking care of my own kid… do I have time or patience for others’ children at this point? So I will continue to hope that I either win the lottery or my husband suddenly gets promoted to CEO of his company in the coming 8 months. I will keep you posted!

I think I will stop at 5. I don’t want to overdo it and then have nothing to write for next time… as if.

I want to thank you for reading this blog and if you read my other ones, thank you for that too. I am hoping that you can share it with others you know if you like it and then maybe I will receive feedback and comments that will help me improve. I ideally would love to hear your thoughts and have an interactive forum of questions, comments and concerns… that would be fun!

Until next time…