…and she is now starting school!

100_0955Okay. So my little baby who started me on writing these blogs back in 2011 is now starting junior kindergarten! I can’t believe how time flew. I am terrified of her going to school.

She is not scared but then again, she has no idea how mean kids can be and how hard school can be. She wears glasses. She is too little. She has a slight lisp. She cries- A LOT.

She is a walking magnet for a bully!

I am not sure what I can do to overcome this senseless and paralyzing fear of her going to school. Other than set her up with a nanny cam to track everything that happens, everyday, at every minute while she is away from me. Wait- that is a fabulous idea!! No, but wait, where can I hide it without it being completely and utterly obvious?

I can’t believe I am even thinking it. Spying on my child. For her own good? OMG. I am one of those moms!!

Ok. Deep breath. It is going to be ok. She is going to be alright. I don’t need to worry. I am being paranoid. Overreacting. Absolutely and incredibly overprotective.

I need to let her go. Millions of parents do it every year around the globe. She went to Summer Camp with children up to grade 6. She was fine. Mind you, her daddy was there the entire time (it was at our business and he is the principal at the camp) but still… she was good. The older boys and girls loved her. She defended herself and even gave the teachers a piece of her mind when she needed to but what if…

No… no what ifs. I am sending her to school tomorrow with confidence. I taught her to be kind. I taught her to speak up when she is angry or hurt. I taught her to run and scream when a stranger (be it man or woman, boy or girl) ask her if she wants a candy bar or invite her into their cars.

I taught her to remain close to her teachers. Not to let anyone touch her in her private places. I told her to tell me if anything hurts and if anyone hurts her in anyway.

I think I taught her enough. I think she will remember everything I taught her- hopefully.

Tomorrow, I will muster my courage and surrender the single most treasured being in my life to an educator. Tomorrow, I will look into the teacher’s eyes and let her know that she will have the power over my soul. My eldest child who was my greatest achievement of 2011. My daughter who is my angel and her younger sister’s light.

Tomorrow is the beginning of 18 years of academic challenges and accomplishments. 18 years of learning and scholastic strides. 18 years of incarcerated and strategic environmental osmosis of information.

Tomorrow is her first day of school and I almost wish it took a little longer for tomorrow to come.

New Year`s Resolutions

happy-new-year-2014-hd-wallpapers-1 Every year coming to a close is a reminder that we were ‘gifted’ with a new beginning. Many people have lost loved ones in 2014 and struggled through pain and personal battles that we cannot see or understand. In the same year, many others have reached the pinnacle of their careers, met their soul mates, married, became pregnant or birthed a child. Many children found a home whether with a foster family or through adoption. As for me… there are many challenges- some health related and some familial while others are professional. Any way you look at it, a year is a LONG time for things to happen and much of what we anticipate and fear can happen at any moment. So my post today is about gratitude and resilience.

Ever wondered how a person can go on after being struck by a horrible accident or injury? Ever wondered how people can smile through personal storms and battles? I have and I realized that resiliency is an inherent capacity to withstand all the bad and anticipate all the good.

I am suddenly aware of all the things and poeple in my life that are mortal and transient. Parents ail, children grow, jobs change, money is gained and lost, climates shift, friends grow farther away or closer together, circumstances evolve and my story is being written each and every day I breathe. My faith in God and His love does not fade nor weakens because in all of this I believe that there is a higher purpose for our lives and how we choose to live them.

I want to leave an impact, a legacy when I cease to exist. I always tell my husband that I would like to be “remembered well” when I die. But how does that happen exactly?

Here, I have compiled 10 new resolutions I will endeavour to accomplish in 2015. No matter what happens, I have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

A-Prayer-For-You1) I will pray more, praise more, worship more. I will realize the frailty of life and how in a blink of an eye it can all cease to be. I will recognize my mere existence on earth and treat it as a journey. I will be grateful for every breath given to me and every morning I wake up- I will be revitalized. I will ensure that my constancy is in the knowledge that nothing else is constant. I will fill my heart and soul with gratitude to the point of bursting so that all can see how amazing it is to be alive.

imagesCAWJ7Y372) I will love unconditionally. This task is challenging due to its magnitude. This one resolution is one of my life’s missions. In order to truly love others you must forfeit your own self-worth and the perceptions you constructed based on your years lived here on earth. You must release all prejudice and choose to see people for who they are not what they are trying to be. To love unconditionally means to sacrifice criticism for encouragement and deliberately blind yourself from context and circumstance. Nothing matters and nothing should affect your love for others. I aspire to have love as my new drug to which I will become hopelessly addicted- no boundaries, no limits, no reservations. Period.

family3) I will see my husband and children again. I will yell less and smile more. I will make an effort to enjoy cleaning up the mess my three-year-old makes instead of chastising her for it. I will let my infant feed her hair and roll in the play-doh if that is her heart’s desire. I will listen more to my husband’s whispered words at night before bed and take a special interest in how he says what he feels not only what he is saying. I will see my husband and children for the blessings they are to me and I will share with them the wonders of God. I will love them unconditionally.

Chrysanthemum4) I will see nature. I will make more of an effort to count the stars and appreciate the sunshine. I will build snowmen and sand castles. I will listen for the waves and the rustle in the trees. I will smell the flowers and curiously observe the bees gathering honey. I will enjoy the sensation of being outside, in the outdoors and truly take in what our world is providing us. Beautiful blessings of nature. I will enjoy the silence more and ‘Be Still’.

1451377_10153467659090224_180124569_n5) I will be a good example to others. Integrity, honesty, positivity and respect- all traits that I truly admire in others. I will be a beacon to those who are not willing or able to uphold values. I will speak out when there is wrongdoing and I will be courageous to stand up to peers, friends and my superiors when these basic human ethics are not demonstrated. I will keep in mind that I am far from perfect and exchange judgement for encouragement. I will give more to those in need and stop my car to help the person on the road whose car has stalled. I will stop and ask a stranger who is crying if they need anything from me. I will assist others when they feel alone. All the time. No exceptions.

1463376_10153501465515224_1660866369_n6) I will see silver lining. Everyone struggles. Bad things happen to good people. You can’t avoid some sicknesses, accidents, tragedies or pains. How I choose to react to bad things is what matters. I will choose to be more positive and see the silver lining. I will work on my patience and endurance. I will attempt to see the big picture and appreciate that everything happening is part of a bigger plan that will make me stronger, more powerful and more resilient. I will selectively ‘like’ and read the updates and stories that inspire me on the various social media sites where we are constantly bombarded. I will stop over-analyzing, over-calculating and overthinking everything. I will just be in the moment and smile at what’s to come.

comparison_wise7) I will stop comparing myself to others. There is nothing more time-consuming and fruitless that spending time comparing yourself to others. There are a multitude of individuals who inhabit our planet and they are all at varying degrees of wealth, fitness, love, success and so on. Constant reminders on Facebook and Twitter of what we don’t have does not help in my pursuit of personal fulfillment. I will no longer envy or betray the blessings I have been given in exchange for petty concern and frivolous anger. I will be inspiring to others without boasting my blessings. I will congratulate more, empathize more and bless more. I will demote my base feelings of jealousy and elevate my humanity. I will appreciate by praise those who give of themselves, those who serve and those who are living their lives with humility and impact. Instead of wanting to be as wealthy or as successful as others, I will only seek to be the best I can be without comparison or compromise. (Thank you fellow wordpress blogger tom.basson for your article on this and the photo: http://tombasson.wordpress.com/2013/01/14/why-comparing-is-stupid-and-how-to-stop/)

laughing8) I will laugh. Not just the giggle or fake laugh that we demonstrate when our superiors say something funny… laughing as in my belly hurting. I will locate the people who I can share laughter with and just put that on the menu. I will play more board games that would make me laugh and I will read more auto-correct fails. I will find new ways each day to share a laugh with my children or husband because at the end of the journey, you remember the stories that end with “we laughed and laughed until our bellies ached…”

10645270_10154814270765224_4395918206427828164_n9) I will be present…in the present. Nothing is more frightful than the inability to recall memories. Memories only become so because you remember the present. People who are struck with amnesia are afraid and lost because they can’t remember who they are or who the people they loved are either. So being present in the present is a blessing and a gift. We cannot move forward into the future without knowing where we are right now. The past is the past and it’s a great lesson in history. Now is amazing because we can still re-write history. We can make a change effective immediately. We can give of ourselves now. I want to stop looking at the future because I don’t know what tomorrow brings. I want to live now, laugh now and love now. I will put away my phone at home and when my daughter says “Mommy, look, see?” – I will not reply with “Eh, hmmmm, ok dear, that’s great” – no, I will ask questions and be sincere and say “Wow… what is that? Can you explain it to me? Do you like it? Well done. You are so smart!”

1909559_5032225223_5452_n10) I will make time for quiet reflection. Life is busy. Incredibly, unforgivingly, incessantly busy. I have learned that peaceful moments where I can contemplate, reflect and reassess can afford me the ability to make sound decisions and impeccable choices. I can regret less because I have given matters clear thought before proceeding. I am the most impulsive person you would ever know… so this resolution will be very tough for me. I will need to implement it though if I have any hope of making the other 9 come true.

Happy New Year to all of you. May 2015 bring you wholesome joy, endless blessings and a year of wondrous discovery and limitless hope.

Until Next Time,

Smartignani

Every season has a reason.

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Change.

Constant and continuous. I can’t explain how I feel except to say there is constant change in our lives.

We decided that the existing home daycare was not working because the lady is done at 5 pm. No exceptions. So I returned to my maddening search to find another suitable environment for my two little girls. Found another home daycare but this one has an ECE who is strict and all about routine. Far cry from where they came from- namely an amazingly loving lady who allowed for their personality to emerge and for them to set the pace of when they sleep and when they play. So we are transitioning and set to start tomorrow.

We were supposed to hire a live-in nanny. With our work hours (after-school care), it made sense. We found one. She was great. We gave our three weeks’ notice to their daycare and the same day in the evening I was texted by the nanny… she received another opportunity.

Wasn’t meant to be I guess.

I have accepted a small short-term assignment with my old work. We own two businesses and on top of it all, I am itching to have another baby. WHAT? I know, right. Well, my thinking is, if you are on a ride for your life, might as well do what you have to do so you don’t regret doing it- get me?

I have not blogged in ages and I miss it. I will have to do this again because it helps me verbalize my thoughts. I am sure other families out there are equally busy and I know that I am grateful for every millisecond of my life. I think I just need to do one thing routinely so that it can counterbalance the constant shift in circumstance and endless need for decisions.

I will start to exercise. I already pray incessantly. I will do something different that is both calming and healthy. I will give my man a hug. Hold my children a little tighter. I will do all these things…

…right after my nap.

Until next time,

Smartignani

When did that happen?!

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There is nothing more painful or exhilarating than successfully potty training your child. You feel like you won an Oscar or climbed the highest mountain. The sense of achievement you felt the day you graduated or obtained your first real promotion is no comparison… as if you did this all on your own. Then the stark realization smacks you upside the head that this is what your parents must have felt like when you did something great growing up.

I don’t think I can be a prouder mommy than when my little toddler goes – “Mommy, I nee’ to Pee pee now”. We rush over to the toilet, we pull down the pants and then… the sweet sound of freedom- aaahhhh. No more pull-ups, stinky messes, nasty blow-outs or wet pants. Sooooooooo exciting!!

I look at my toddler and see the little preschooler emerging and ask – “When did that happen?!” – hence the title. But seriously, when did she start talking in complete sentences? When did she start empathizing with me (“Awww, mommy, you are so cute- are you hurt?”) When did she turn into this inquisitive, intelligent, insanely happy child?

These past few months have been challenging but fun. I have been busy trying to re-energize my business and manage my staff that I forgot to see the little changes in my big girl along the way. This morning she woke me up a little earlier and I spoke with her and played with her. She surprised me with how much she’d grown in the past three weeks. She knows which mitt goes where. She can put her boots on the right feet on her own. She understands that letters makes sounds. She know how to sing “A,B,C,D,E,F,G, next time sing, A,B,C,D,E,F,G” (and repeat) and she counted to 20!

I am in awe of how like her father she is becoming. It is really a good thing I love him so much because she reminds me so much of him. Her mannerisms, her thoughtful moments, her sweet affection and even her expressions. No surprise since she spends majority of her time with him instead of me.

I must confess that I am also tremendously enjoying my baby too. She shows me affection in her own way. She likes to be held at night and to sleep in my arms. Sure, it makes it tough for daddy to put her to bed when he is alone with her, but there is no stronger bond and no better feeling that having her fall almost instantly asleep when I carry her and rock her. She likes to hear me whisper to her and sometimes she just strokes me with her little, tiny fist. I feel especially blessed in those moments.

In the mornings, she is the happiest little baby I know. She just plays and rocks herself and flaps her little arms like wings. Her smiles and giggles are so contagious that she just subliminally compels me to pick her up so we can snuggle and play. Her demeanor is so different than her big sister. Her moods are so much milder and she is patient, calm and very stubborn!

I love them both 100% but differently. I can’t live without either of them and I am just so full of emotion when I see either of them hit a milestone or learn something new.

Between the one baby rolling and the other one peeing in the toilet, I feel like my heart can just burst with pride right now.

Until next time,

SMartignani

Multitasking Mommy

 

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So for those who know me, you know how busy I can be. I have varied interests and obligations and I thrive on being constantly and consistently booked. I don’t know why but that is what keeps me going (I sure don’t like that mommy in the image though… I wish!)

I am not complaining at all because I was blessed with so many gifts. This is one of those rare posts where I will side-step the sarcasm and defeat my natural inclination towards humour by counting my blessings.

To contextualize, two Octobers ago, I attended a wonderful feel-good session by an amazing guest speaker called Isabelle Fontaine and she told us an effective and unforgettable story about how she leveraged the feeling of gratitude to feel happy after a painful experience in her life.

 

So I am not taking this blog lightly (although my ulterior motive for this post is to explain why I haven’t posted for a long time, not an excuse- just an explanation).

Here are my blessings:

1) A God who is gracious, merciful, long-suffering and plenteous in mercy and compassion. And a Church that keeps me disciplined, deliberate in my faith and dedicated to the Lord (thank you SMSV).

2) A yummy hubby who loves me and spoils me. He cuddles me without asking and smiles my way when I need it most. How blessed I am with your love.

3) 2 beautiful daughters who appear to be surprisingly full of big personalities and vivacity.

4) My mom, dad, brother, sister, sister-in-law, nieces, nephews and parents-in-law (and Mike- ha ha) who support me, trust me and apparently find me worthy of their love.

5) An amazing business called Oxford Learning Centre with amazing staff and equally incredible families.

6) My best friends who supported me through the years and continue to be the solid splash of shining stars in the night sky of my day-to-day shenanigans.

7) My colleagues at work who are strong, beautiful and courageous- inspiring me to always be more than just good enough.

8) An awesome job at the Government of Canada that awaits me when I return from Maternity Leave. (The maternity leave itself is a blessing because I get an entire year off… I know my neighbours south of the border get only 90 days. Can you imagine leaving your baby so soon. My heart goes out to you- move to Canada!)

9) Every moment and every breath that I get on earth to live my life, cuddle my loved ones and realize my dreams.

10) My Car. I love my car. Oh and  thank you Youtube for teaching me how to knit.

Honestly, I think that is my top 10 list so far. There is so much more but I have to say the things above and the people mentioned do keep me pretty busy!

Until next time (which hopefully will be sooner than this time),

SMartignani

Perks of Parenting

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Here is the thing. The truth is being a parent is not all that bad. There is a silver lining to the sleepless nights, the irritating whining, the endless crying, the anxiety, the nasty poops and the interminable temper tantrums. I will not even mention the incessant screaming, embarrassing sounds and scents or the countless hours spent coaxing, rubbing, carrying, bouncing, singing, humming, gurgling, rasberrying, silly face making to appease/please/calm/restore/distract/heal/put to sleep/make’em laugh/discipline/show them you love them.

Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, the silver lining. Ok. So here is a list of some silly things you get to do as a parent that you could not do before (at least in public):

1) Your cartoon movie collection has now exponentially increased and surprisingly you stocked it with some classic movies that we all know junior will not even understand yet (Transformers? Voltron? Pink Panther? Felix the Cat? really??)

2) You have come to terms with the difference between what “messy” looked like before you had kids and now. A toy here or there and a book lying around your nice living room (where you greet guests) is not messy at all. As opposed to pre-children when you would dust, clean, mop and vacuum. Now we are lucky if we don’t trip over the tiny wind up car left on the floor by the stairs… there it is, I was looking for you car.

3) You realize now that naps are not a luxury but a necessity…for you. Not the kids.

4) Farting in public is so much easier now that you can blame it on the children!

5) Spit-up does not smell very bad after a couple of hours. It has a natural baby-je-ne-se-quoi scent to it that makes people lean in closer and nuzzle you.

6) Baby powder ain’t just for kids… fun fun fun for the whole family! We find remnants of that stuff in every orifice of the house afterwards!

7)  You don’t really need to hang out with anyone you don’t want to hang out with for extended periods of time because junior is going to get hungry/tired/manic/restless/sleepy/gassy/thirsty/sick… you decide on the excuse because we all know that is exactly what it is.

8) You realize that your true friends are the ones who will love you and your kids even through the stage of TEETHING when your child turns into Dr. Jekyll.

9) Moms, you look at yourselves in the mirror and feel good about how thin you are compared to when you were pregnant… the little hanging fold of skin is superficial. Bio Oil makes it disappear, trust Dr. Oz!

10) You never appreciated being alone with your spouse/friends more than when you can drop the kids off at the grandparents/baby-sitters and go out finally… there is an adrenaline rush that occurs accompanied by feelings of euphoria for the temporary freedom. Seriously though, you love your kids but everyone needs a little break dude.

11) You have an excuse to get to Church a little late… and leave a little early… and eat those yummy sandwiches first.

12) You develop a new appreciation for left-over, pre-digested food and candy and juices of all kind. Everywhere you go, you seem to be finishing your child’s plate/drink/sandwich

13) You have made up the words to at least three nursery rhymes/Christmas Carols/Songs/Hymns… like seriously… who knows all the words to Frosty the Snowman?

14) You are getting to be a master at skipping pages in a long storybook without your child noticing…

15) you are memorizing by heart all the words to Dr. Seuss books

16) You are definitely checking the time every 15 minutes when you get close to bed-time and you are secretly planning what you will do in the two hours from 8 pm to 10 pm after the kids sleep. So many exciting things to do, shall I knit or take a bath or cook tomorrow’s meal or catch up on the last episode of Big Bang or just, oh look its already 10 pm and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

17) You most likely have your phone ringers off after a certain time as to not awake the kids so you really don’t talk on the phone much.

18) You recognize now how vital daycare is…no matter the cost… we will stop eating if it means 8 hours of peace and quiet!

19) You find yourself wondering the weirdest things before you go to sleep like why is the alphabet song is the same tune as twinkle, twinkle little star and who invented Sophie the Giraffe and why on earth you didn’t…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

20) After a crappy day doing whatever it is you do, NOTHING and I mean NOTHING is better than getting a huge, sloppy, wet kiss from your kids or a genuine smile from your infant.

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If that’s not the silver lining, I don’t know what is!!

Until next time,

Smartignani

Choosing a Daycare- helpful advice for residents in Ontario, Canada

imagesI graduated from Early Childhood Education and I went on to Teacher’s College. I worked in several different daycares and since then, I have accumulated some knowledge in this area. So here is my list to help you when searching for the right place to leave your child.

Before I begin, I want to remind you that this is a very serious decision and it is often underscored or underestimated. Just think you are leaving your child at this other place for majority of the day. The daycare will be the main caregiver because their hours will outlast yours. So when you decide to hand your child over, you must know that this is a commitment of at least three years. Think of all the changes that take place in our life cycle between the ages of one and three; everything from potty training to emergence of self and cognitive pre-speech development. Most parents need to start thinking about childcare even before the child turns three months. For the really good places, there is usually at least one year waiting list. Start early in your research because this is one of the most important decisions that will affect your child’s earliest development and shape their formative years.

I am splitting this article in three distinct sections: Preparation, Processes and Payments.

 Section 1: Preparation

You will undoubtedly do a considerable amount of research in order to find the right daycare. Equip yourself with basic knowledge about what you are looking for and educate yourself with questions to further decipher whether it is a good fit. Ask yourself:

1)      Will I need full-time or part-time care?

2)       Do I want to send my baby or babies to someone’s home instead of a big centre?

3)       Do I need to see routines and activity plans?

4)      Am I looking for a formal setting with a licensed outdoor/indoor space?

5)       Is it more important for the daycare to be close to my home or work grandparent’s home?

6)      Is it important that the daycare has insurance coverage?

 Section 2: Processes

Please know that there are laws that govern childcare but they are not as extensive as the laws that govern the public school system. These laws are encapsulated in the Day Nursery Act (DNA) and you can access all the minimal conditions for licensing online. Inspectors ONLY inspect daycares that apply for licenses through the government. There are many daycares operating without a license and that is not necessarily a bad thing. Just like everything else, there are positives and negatives to a home daycare versus a formal childcare centres. However, the main three differences are the ratio of caregivers to children, the price and obviously the environment. I will split the next few questions you should ask while touring a potential childcare in two- Formal versus Informal (home daycares).

 Formal Childcare Centre:

1)      Are all the caregivers Registered Early Childhood Educators (RECE)?

2)      Is your outdoor space inspected annually or every 5 years?

3)      How often do you sanitize toys? (should be at least four times a week in infant room and twice a week in toddler room)

 Informal Daycare:

1)      What is your ratio? (Should be one adult to five full-time children- if there are two adults there should STILL only be five children because laws stipulate that it is the ratio set for the SPACE not the number of caregivers, many use this as a loophole but it really is not meant to be misinterpreted)

2)      Is there a separate dedicated space for food preparation? Naps? Toilet training? Outdoor play? Indoor play?

3)      What is the qualification of the caregiver?

4)      What happens when they are sick and unable to care for your child?

5)      Do they allow the children to watch TV? (that should be a “no no”)

6)      Do they accept cash discounts? Offer receipts?

*Please note that childcare payments are tax deductible.  (Do your math, because discounts gained on cash payments may not outweigh the benefit of the tax deduction)

All Daycares (observations and questions):

1)      What is their stance on discipline? On Soothers?  On Christian Holidays like Christmas and Easter? (You will need to continue whatever they teach at daycare to maintain consistency and ensure optimal results so you better be on board)

2)      How do they potty train the children? (In the potty or on the toilet or both)

3)      Do they take the kids outside every day? When do they NOT go outside? (Research shows that infants and toddlers should NOT be outside for longer than 15 minutes at a time in below zero weather. It is not good for their tiny frames no matter how covered up they are!)

4)      Are they able to keep a daily journal to keep you apprised of bowel movements, eating patterns, general behaviour and newly acquired skills and developmental milestones?

5)      Are they able to take photos throughout the day for you so you can keep them for memories?

6)      Can you log in and access the childcare surveillance equipment to “check-up” on your child? (I have mixed feelings about this because if you can log-in, imagine all the sick hackers out there that can also hijack the system and watch your child).

7)      How do they reinforce self-esteem and confidence? How do they teach children to be independent without being too detached?

8)      How do they teach children speech? Reading? Writing? Cognition? Self-feeding? Self-dressing?

9)      Is the space neat, age-appropriate, stimulating? Are there clear sightlines for the caregivers to see the children at all times?

10)   What are the policies on Disease control? Lice and other Contagions?

Payment:

1)      Always get a sibling discount if you have more than one child. What is the discount if you pay upfront for the entire year?

2)      Always ask how much it will cost if your child is unable to attend or is sick or has appointments? How much is it if you are late to pick up? Which stat holidays do they open/close? Will you pay if you book a vacation?

3)      Read the contract carefully, like anything else, this is a major investment but instead of money on the line, it is your own precious flesh and blood.

Just so you know, home daycares range from $750 to $1000 per month while formal childcare centres range from $1000 to $1500 a month for infants – be weary of the overly expensive centres that have a “unique” rationale for being too expensive. Honestly, not worth your time because children learn fast and more if the caregiver is loving and attentive than if the daycare is made of gold and gimmicks.

E-mail me if you have questions I have not covered – sylviamartignani@gmail.com

Until next time,

@Smartignani

 


I hate burping.

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I don’t think there is anything more exhausting than waiting for my two-months old to burp after a feeding at 3 am. The actual feeding takes about a half hour and then comes the pat-pat-patting and cajoling until I hear the soft or sometimes loud expulsion of air from her tiny body. Sometimes she sleeps half-pat and then waiting for a burp can take upwards of one hour or so. Then there is the occasional spit-up or gas that agitates her and causes us grief until it is resolved. She is so sweet and accommodating otherwise but in the wee hours of the morning with very little sleep and even less patience, it is very challenging to accept the whining. Truthfully, I think it is quite the show when I am awake and waiting for her because it is so funny when you can see that she is visibly fighting with her burp. Sometimes, while attempting to expel gas upwards, out escapes a little fart. Too funny.

Taking about farting, no one told me how tough potty training my little toddler can be.

Whopotty training (2) knew the fear of the toilet that would embed itself so deeply in  my two-year-old’s brain or the irrational anxiety that rears its ugly head every time we ask her if she pooped.  At daycare, she sits on a small potty and plays while waiting for her bladder or bowel to move but at home, she is in instant denial when asked if she needs to go. It’s almost like she is ashamed to go around us, what’s up with that? I understand there are many ways to potty train and one effective method is taking the weekend off and just putting her in underwear where we can expect many accidents to take place until she gets it. Between you and me, I am not looking forward to asking her every two seconds if she wants to go to the washroom and I am definitely not looking forward to the bed wetting accidents and the nasty bathroom seats we have to experience afterwards. Most of all, I am not looking forward to letting go because once she becomes potty trained, she will truly be a child and no longer my baby. My heart is aching every time I see her growing up which is every day! Each day she comes home from daycare and each day I notice a difference. If you are a parent you will agree that this is a tough pill to swallow no matter how bittersweet it is.

I know I said this before, but I appreciate my mom a lot more now. Every time I see her, I understand a little more how good she was to us. And my daddy of course. I also appreciate my husband a lot more. He does so much for our family.

I am glad that the holidays are here because I can’t wait to buy the tree and decorate our house. The older one will definitely understand a little more this year and maybe even appreciate some of the presents while the baby can be just that this year… the baby of the family.

Until next time

SMartignani

Potty training, poopy diapers and pandemonium…

blog nov 3 (3) Ever since Lisee was born, we have been on the go. Things get pretty busy with two little ones. I figured my last two posts were pretty heavy so let’s make this one a little funny. At least it will be… to me because I usually enjoy laughing at my own jokes.

So my toddler is potty training. By that, I mean, we are talking/lecturing/yelling/pleading/bribing/begging her to pee and poop on the potty but to no avail. She is just not interested. We tried giving her Skittles when she goes. It worked for a while until she decided all the work was just not worth one Skittle as a reward. In fear of making this a negotiable action, I decided against offering external rewards for a natural, biological event. Bad idea. I think I might just start bribing again.

She eats what we eat so in turn that means she tends to excrete what we excrete (I know, yucky, sorry). It’s getting bigger, stinkier and stickier. I know that everyone says she needs to be ready. I don’t know if she is but we definitely are! So we are talking about the underwear. Celebrating every achievement with “You Did It!” and we are consistently reminding her to “Go on the potty”. Tonight she was helping me fold towels (I had to refold them all but it was so sweet that she was trying) and I saw the face… y’know, the one she makes when there is a little push required. A second later, the room was consumed with the penetrating stench of a poop in progress. I asked her “Do you want to go on the potty?” and of course she quickly said “No”. Then I proceeded to enthusiastically suggest to her “Let’s go to the potty.” To which she responded “No Mama”. In desperation and self-preservation I demanded, “C’mon, we poopoo in the potty not in our pull-up” to which my sweet angel sternly replied while wagging a finger at me “Mama, Juya said NO!” (that is how she pronounces her name which is Julia).

I lose. Too late. Daddy cleaned it up because he usually puts her to bed. I can hear him seriously saying “Poopoo goes in the potty Julia not in your pull-up” and I giggle. I never thought I would find that sexy. But somehow, someway, I find it extremely appealing when I hear my husband with my toddler as he lectures her, tickles her, wrestles her, disciplines her, feeds her and reads her a book. He is such a hands-on dad and I love that. I especially adore the giggles that escape from her as he chases her around the house then hides. She then begins her search for him with a sloppy, carefree smile and a squeally, high-pitched “Amma gonna getchu” (Translation: I am going to get you).

Meanwhile, I get to nurse my baby who is now 6 weeks old and I already feel like she is getting too big too fast. RANDOM OFF-TOPIC thought: I have decided that Newborn clothing is a waste of money because babies only wear the ultra-small stuff for like 4 weeks then its 0-3 months for the most part.

Anyhow, I get to play with my baby and feed her and dress her while my husband takes care of her big sister. I don’t know how people say having three kids is easy because there are only two of us. How do people do it? If we have a third, I may have to sit the other two down and let them know that someone may be pink slipped 🙂

In all seriousness now, I can’t believe the number of people who stopped to admire the baby hats I have been knitting and decorating with clip-on flowers. A lady actually told me to blog it for other parents and I said I would so I will and I am – here it is. If you have a little girl and like me, people can’t tell if it is a boy or girl, just buy/make a knitted hat and insert a flower clip in it. Here are two photos of hats I knitted on a round loom (so easy, if I can do it anyone can).

blog nov 3 (1)blog nov 3 (2) Are they not adorable and so cheap!

Also, here is some other cool advice from moi to toi:

– Buy yourself a sanitizer for baby stuff because boiling water is from the dark ages and so slow comparably. Use the time you would spend boiling water, placing objects gingerly in water with tongs then extracting objects and letting them cool off before use and enjoy your baby instead.

– Breast feeding is not all it’s cracked up to be. I have to supplement my baby with formula and I can’t wait until I don’t have to nurse anymore. I can’t really spend time with her or play with her while nursing and quite honestly, I already know she is going to be the slowest darn eater on the planet. A single feeding can take upwards of one hour. Seriously!!

– Invest in a good crock-pot. Discover the luxury of chopping veggies and buying stewing beef or roast to place the next morning in the slow-cooker so you do not have to worry about dinner (and it’s healthy). Instead of cooking, spend time with the kids.

– Nipple Shields. Man’s greatest invention. Enough said.

– Buy a playpen with vibrating capabilities. Usually buys us another half hour or so of complete bliss (for the baby) and time for us to finish vacuuming/showering/laundry/dusting/stretching/online banking/insert preferred activity here.

– Have a routine of things you do on a day together. Our eldest knows that Saturdays, she gets to jump in bed between us, play games on my smartphone while I nurse the baby and daddy catches a few more precious minutes of sleep. On Sundays, we go to Church together as a family then come home and nap as a family. Because you know what they say… the family that naps together, stays together.

– Figure out what your toddler likes to eat and use it to leverage certain situations to achieve beneficial results. Do not fear the stigma attached to bribery and never underestimate its proven potential for success. My husband figured out that Julia likes apples so now she needs to finish her dinner to have an apple (healthy and motivational- life is good).

– Argue in front of your kids (respectfully) and then resolve and make-up in front of them too. It’s important that they see anger as a natural part of life and more importantly how to deal with it. Parents who only fight behind closed doors and maintain a serene face for the kids are setting unrealistic expectations of what the perfect marriage should be. Deal with all emotions so that the kids are well-prepared for reality. And honestly, it is creepy when parents don’t fight. Isn’t it?

– New mommies, I know this is hard, but DO try and treat yourself once in a while. It is ok to leave the baby in the bassinet and go get a hot shower or manicure. Dare I even suggest you get your hair done?

– We were husband and wife before we were mommy and daddy so give lots of kisses and hugs to your spouse in front of your children. My daughter loves it when I loudly kiss daddy on the cheek and she consistently giggles, blushes then demands loudly “More, more, more” (in that order) to which, of course, I willingly oblige.

– Adopt the following methodology of diaper changing for babies: Place a new diaper under the old diaper before opening it to save yourself getting peed on or worse, pooed on (it happened to my husband when our daughter was 6 days old). Practice makes perfect and you will soon be able to do it quickly enough but in the beginning they are so wiggly and constantly pulling up their little legs so it’s like changing a worm under water who is fighting for dear life (great imagery right?)

– If you are worried that your daily chores are taking away from spending time with your toddler, involve them! Julia loves to ‘help’ and often folds laundry, puts away the kitchen towels, throws stuff in the garbage and grabs things for us (baby pacifier, remote, tissue). There are no child labour laws against putting your own child to work around the house. Parking the car and mowing the lawn are unacceptable examples of ‘involving’ your toddlers- c’mon!

– Try and take as many photos/videos/time to scrap book for your second as you did for your first (I am awful at this and trying my best to be equitable).

– Use your maternity/paternity leave to learn something new. With my first, I learned how to knit. This time I am aiming to learn how to cook (I know I am not very domesticated).

– Try not to Facebook/message/tweet/e-mail people at 4 am because you are up and feeding the baby. It is alarming and disturbing to everyone else who is not a new mom 🙂

– Last but not least, do spend time reading my blogs, adding me, following me, liking me and messaging me because I need every ounce of encouragement to continue blogging between the two kids, a business, hobbies and trying to apply all my great advice!

Until next time,

Smartignani

What a place… RONALD MACDONALD HOUSE in HAMILTON

I promised I would so I will… While in Hamilton awaiting my baby’s discharge from the McMaster NICU, we stayed at the Ronald MacDonald House for $12 a night and man it was AMAZING!

First of all, the service and professionalism of the staff was stupendous. We were greeted late at night with a professional, kind, caring lady (Arlene) and we were given a great tour of the place. It looked and felt like a five star resort- incredible. As if it was not enough that we had a nice bed to sleep in and a comfortable place to stay so we can be with our sick baby in the NICU, they also had a chef that cooked us delicious dinners. Between the multiple amenities and cozy surroundings, we felt like celebrities. I would like to share some photos with you.

20130924_084013_resized  Well-kept hallways

20130924_084022_resized Beautiful décor

20130924_084045_resized Spacious

20130924_084107_resized 20130924_084115_resized Movie Room for families and siblings of NICU Babies

20130924_084201_resized Piano in the sitting area

20130924_084218_resized  Gorgeous furniture

Children's room Children’s Play Room (1 of 4 different areas for children)

Dining Room Sunny, gorgeous dining room where they provided a great breakfast daily

library  Library (1 of 2)

park  Outdoor playground for children

Reading Room 2 Fireplace and a cozy place to sit and read

Reception  Reception area with a waterfall

There is also a “secret” room for kids that ends with a magical place filled with new toys and they get to choose whatever they want. There is a room with a pool table and other games for adults. There is also a full out MOVIE THEATRE. There is a magnificent shared kitchen where families who are staying there for long can cook and store their food in the many refrigerators. There is also a laundry room that is clean and functional as well as a mother’s pumping room with a TV and a hospital grade pump. I was not able to take pictures of all the different spaces, but you get the idea!

The place is staffed with volunteers and sponsored in part by the Government of Canada, Province of Ontario and City of Hamilton. I am so impressed with the facilities and I wanted to give them a huge kudos in my blog for being there for the families of sick children. No one can imagine how difficult it is when your newborn baby is fighting for their life and their health. Each day is filled with mixed emotions from confusion, despair, fear, tension, anxiety, depression and insistent gloom. The last thing you want to worry about as a parent of a child in the NICU is where to sleep or eat. To be honest, if they were not there, I would not be eating or sleeping.

Thank you to the people of Ronald MacDonald House in Hamilton who gave us the luxury of not having to worry about our own health and well-being while we take care of our newborn baby girl. I was moved to tears by their kindness and generosity. They even gifted us with a beautiful quilt for our newborn.

I owe them so much and I would recommend them to anyone who has a similar experience.

Their website is: http://www.rmhhamilton.ca/

Here are some ways to donate and give back: https://secure.e2rm.com/registrant/tribute.aspx?eventid=57066&langpref=en-CA&referrer=http%3a%2f%2fwww.rmhhamilton.ca%2f

 

Until Next Time,

SMartignani

 

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