Here we go… again!

709188_coming_soon2 So the OB/GYN told us that tomorrow is the big day. We are all set. I was instructed to eat lightly and pack my bag. Hopefully it will only be two days until we are back home barring any trouble or complication.

I am stoked. I am also STARVING. Eat LIGHTLY?

What does that even mean exactly? I am nine months pregnant and my little baby happens to need nourishment. This is not helping the anticipation or the excitement really. I am a little light headed and headachy. Does banana count as light food? Ok, I will stop writing about food because it is making me even hungrier.

So tomorrow is the big day. We will become a family of 4 and everything is set to go. We are dropping our toddler off at 6:20 am at the daycare and then going to the hospital to have a baby! I will be on stand-by until 10 am and then Jelly bean (name for baby #2) will be surgically extracted from me and join us here on planet earth. I am grateful that I made it this far and I feel so blessed.

It is really bittersweet, all these emotions. I am holding my little toddler extra tight tonight and telling her I love her. I know that there will be love in my heart for a second baby but I worry that I will not love the same way. My first was special in every way. I remember when she first sat up, crawled, clapped, talked. I remember every moment of the past 25 months and now I feel like I will need to remember equally hard for this one as well so there is equity in my love for both.

Did I mention I was starving?

Anyway, we decided on a girl’s name but the boy’s name is still debatable. I will come up with something but I really think it’s a girl so we will just have to wait and see.

Tonight we head to bed with the knowledge that our lives are set to change forever…again. And the best part is, I cannot wait!!

(I also can’t wait to eat again…I will have a burger, fries, sub and cake on standby as soon as I can eat… really… I know I am pathetic… leave me alone… do not judge me!!)

Until next time…

SMartignani

I am just about ready to POP!

pregnant-cartoon-image 3.5 more weeks and counting. To be honest, I am so heavy and so uncomfortable, I am just about ready to let loose and push with or without contractions. There are nights where I think I am going into early labour then there are times when I know I am just wishfully thinking.

The last month is the most painful. It feels like forever ago that I shared my secret joy of another human being harvested in my belly with my spouse and wondered days and nights if my daughter who is only two will accept the fact that a sibling will share the spotlight. It feels like an eon ago when I anticipated the arrival of my first-born and now two years later, I am anticipating the arrival of my second.

We didn’t find out the gender. We just pray that it is healthy. I pray that it comes out. Soon.

Anyway, I think that much of the anticipation this time is centred on how will the baby look because quite honestly the first one looked just like my husband. I am hoping this one takes some of my dark hair and features but you know what – who cares…. as long as it comes OUT soon, I don’t care what it looks like really.

The other day I pushed myself off the bed to get up and go to the washroom and actually felt the baby shifting in my belly as if it is swimming from one side of the belly to the other. Just like people on the Titanic when the boat was sinking and they were clinging to dear life on one side of the ship. It was a comical visual until the baby kicked me so hard I had to do a super wobble to the washroom in order to avoid making a mess. Yes, I feel like the Titanic in size and stature.

I feel slow. I forget things. I am not really focussed. I fall asleep sporadically and at random times. I lost my toes. I think my nose is inflating to the point that I can’t see past it when I look down at my enormous tatas. I am uncomfortable sitting. I am uncomfortable standing. I am uncomfortable lying down. I am moody and sad. What did you just say? I am fine. I am happy, see? I am heartburning-stomachurning-forwardleaning-backpaining ALL THE TIME and worst of all, as aforementioned, I STILL HAVE 3.5 WEEKS LEFT….

I am also getting some wicked cravings. Root Beer floats, pistachios, Feta cheese, watermelon and that was just last night. Today it was Pizza Hut, garlic shrimp and Skittles (preferably together). Last week, no word of a lie, I was craving Cream Soda, blue cheese and red velvet cake. I am sick…help me!

I wake up in the morning thinking about food. I drive to work and think about going home and napping. I nap thinking about eating and eat thinking about napping – how am I supposed to have time to DO ANYTHING ELSE??

My poor husband must think I am nuts sometimes. He is so patient and kind but even I, looking from the outside in, think to myself “Who is this witch and why is she so mean all the time? What is her issue?”

I will tell me what my issue is… I am ripe.

Cooked.

Done.

I am ready for this baby to be picked, plucked, groomed and passed into my loving arms.

I want this wait and unnecessary painful stage to end. In a good way. I am praying that soon my body will catch up with my brain and say enough is enough, I am just too little to handle all this weight and all this action.

My fetus is practicing black belt karate in there. I swear there are nights where I think there is some sort of soccer game going on in the depths of my belly. Whatever it is, I know that it better be an athlete or dancer after all that action!

I think this is enough complaining for now but I do have one thing to say- if you approach me to tell me that you think I am adorable because I am huge- save the comment to yourself and “No” you cannot touch my belly and yes I am almost there and no we don’t know the gender and yes this is my second and of course we are excited and no- YOU ARE NOT JEALOUS because you have a sleek glass of wine in your right elegant hand which I would gladly guzzle down if I wasn’t carrying precious cargo. Got it?

I hope I will be able to blog again before Jellybean is born but if I don’t because it decides to come early then… HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY…

Keep me in your thoughts.

SMartignani

Third Trimester ain’t so sexy!

mama and j Listen, it is so nice that pregnant women are glorified in the media and some celebrities do look a lot better with some actual fat on their bony bodies but let me tell ya – the average woman don’t look too sexy in the final months. What’s worse, she really doesn’t feel sexy either, AT ALL!

Here is what I mean.

First Trimester, I was like OH WOW, I am having a baby. So cool. Let me try my maternity clothes on and wear a cushion where the bump will be. Can people tell just by my glowing skin and shining mane? I feel so good, so energetic, so beautiful. Uh oh, do you think my mother can tell? I am not telling anyone until the third month. No way, no how. Ok, maybe just my mommy and daddy like c’mon they need to know. Oh, I slipped and told a few very very  close friends and co-workers. But that is it! No way, no how.  Ummmm, did I just tell that lady who is a complete stranger on the elevator? Why? Why did I do that? She doesn’t even know me? I am losing my mind- seriously- chill woman, you don’t even look pregnant! People will think you are making it up!

Second Trimester, oh yeah. Have you seen this little bump I am rocking in my tight tank top and “slimming-maternity” (oxymoron) pants?! That is right! The cat is out of the bag. The belly is out of the shirt too- I am officially preggo. I know. I look better than last time. It must be a boy/girl. Whatever. The energy is still somewhat there, I have my good days and my bad days (what is up with all these random zits?) Anyhow, I will not fret. I have an excuse not to have flawless skin anymore, besides, I am too busy drowning in people’s adoration/congratulations, I am sure they don’t notice the humungous whitehead on the top of my right cheek – right? Right! No one would say anything anyway because I can now cry about EVERYTHING. Say something, anything and that opens the floodgates. It’s like my tear ducts lost all control and are eternally open and ready. I cry when I am happy, sad, frustrated and even when I am hungry. This is insane, let’s go back and focus on the belly. That’s a nice belly 🙂 ooooh, are those little flutters I feel- yay, the baby is kicking!

Third Trimester. I have a headache. You are wearing too much perfume. The baby is karate-kicking me while I am mid-sentence and I am too tired to get up and eat. That doesn’t stop me of course but boy can’t I just catch a break. My bump isn’t cute anymore- it is HUGE. Stretch marks are indicating the paths to the various parts of my body like a little roadmap. I think it is a message but I can’t read it. I am a little gassy, I won’t lie and to be really, brutally honest (as if I haven’t been already), I think there is more facial hair growing in place of the hairs I wax almost instantly. I know that this is due to hormonal changes in my body but seriously, I have a five o’clock shadow at 10 am! (I am exaggerating a little but not by much) – I am forgetting things. My largest pants are too tight after I eat. I pee a little when I laugh. My legs are achy and my ankles are slowly disappearing. I have lost count of the sheer number of times I have to go pee at night and then trying to go back to sleep afterwards. My husband is so patient and so understanding and I am so not in the mood for anything. My waking thought revolves around what I will eat next and when my next nap or sleep will be. My belly is getting too heavy and my skin is itchy. I can’t sit comfortable anymore and I feel like I am suffocating when I lie down.

I want this baby out now.

I am done.

So yeah. Third trimester- ain’t so sexy sister.

 

Smartignani

 

What is happening?

ImageI used to say “Stop” or “Come Here” or “Sit please” and she would listen but now… not so much.

She screams, shakes her little fists, bangs on the table, points to the door and yells “Go!” or simply looks me straight in the eyes and says “No!”

Half the time I feel the need to smack her for being belligerent and the other half I can’t help bursting into a fit of laughter. She is not even two and already thinks she knows her mind. Mind you, I am an educated mom… in fact, I have my Early Childhood Education Diploma, a BA Honours in Psychology and a Bachelor of Education. I spent the first 18 years of my career caring for children and giving parents advice on how to raise and nurture their children. So I find it strangely ironic that I am now a mom who is finding it hard to discipline my own child. I know that she is spoiled sometimes. I hate to refuse her when she wants the simple things. Maybe we are giving her mixed messages and she needs more consistency? For example, sometimes when she runs away in a grocery store, her dad chases after her and makes her giggle with joy and anticipation. Now, whenever we go to any store and she asks to “Walk”, she sets off on an amazingly fast and agile sprint to hide from us. This is extremely dangerous and she is fearless. One time she ran outside into the parking lot and thank God for my hubby who is fit and fast!

I know that I should be more stern with her. I can’t even get her to stay in a time-out like her daddy does. She listens to him and just sits crying in the corner of our couch. With me, she chatters away and says things like “Mama, luff you, kiss, sit, yes, up, yes, walk, yes” then she gets up and comes over to hug me. I melt when she smiles at me and I think that I am the biggest sucker as I read what I am writing.

I just have to come to terms with knowing that I can’t be perfect at everything. I also need to acknowledge the fact that she needs a good hand slap once in a while when she does something bad or dangerous, I just prefer my husband does it instead of me.

However, daddy travels in July and I am worried to be by myself with my little angel. Can you imagine? I don’t think we will be going anywhere since it is becoming increasingly difficult to carry her (I am almost 7 months pregnant now) and she kicks like a professional soccer player!

I will just have to swallow the big lump of “love” and just be strong. Funny how I have fired people, had several serious confrontations, experienced break-ups and grieved deaths in my life but this… this one thing called “Discipline” is becoming one of the biggest challenges…

I know, I know… wait until she’s thirteen. I know. I was an awful teenager but you know what, I just want to enjoy the affection she pours on me when she wants something. I guess putting on her favourite cartoon for a while or staying up a bit longer to read a book aren’t the biggest problems in the world. I want to choose my battles wisely and with her in particular, I would rather spend my time holding her than battling anyway.

If you have advice on what worked for you in the discipline department, please do share your strategies…

Until then,

SMartignani

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