smartignani

I think it’s time.

We are not going to have any more children for more reasons than I can count. Hence, it is time for me to lose weight, get fit and start a new lifestyle that is more active, more rooted in physical exercise and proper nutrition.

I had Gestational Diabetes all three times (borderline) but I was explicitly warned by my endocrinologist that I will be getting Diabetes down the road if I don’t shed the few pounds (and  I loosely use the descriptive adjective “few”) that I gained as a result of my three pregnancies.

I know that it takes 9 months to make a baby and so I need to take my time in losing the weight but I am anxious to get out of my maternity clothing and back into my old stylish clothes. I am also anxious to feel good again.

Having a baby is awesome and a big blessing. My sister labels the spit-up and varying fluids that exit from the baby’s exterior orifices as “blessings”. I find this term amusing since I feel so extremely blessed by my third everyday. He doesn’t hold back from blessing me, it’s almost like he’s marking his territory. I never leave the house without a little white stain on my shoulder. It’s like my Amex- “Never leave home without it!”

On to the other aspects of my mommyhood that are amusing. I have endless moments recently of being lost in oblivion. I don’t sleep much at night for fear that my newborn baby will spit-up and choke on his spit while lying down (elevated on a pillow). So I lay beside him and proceed to place myself in this semi-slumber state where I am between the world of the conscious and that of the slumbering. However, I know I cannot dream this way which takes a toll on my daily behaviour and state of mind. How you ask? Good question.

So I pretty much get lost in my own thoughts during the waking hours to the point that I caught myself snoring while my eyes are open. When I try to watch TV, I don’t remember anything that happened in the segment prior to commercials. It’s like the commercial breaks completely eradicate every aspect of the show before they come on. It’s all good until I have to rewind to the previous segment before the break three times then I just give up and get lost again into oblivion.

I walk around the house on a mission to do things which I forget to do as soon as I start walking around the house. I would be committed to finally folding the baby clothes from the laundry done two weeks ago but as soon as I get into the nursery, I look around and think, “I can’t wait until he sleeps in here so I can get some real REM sleep.” And then I exit and close the door. Mission not accomplished. I had to go back to read the beginning of this paragraph to remember what I am writing about.

Then there is the childageddon that happens when all three kids are in the same space. Take the living room for example, which quietly and quickly becomes the play room as they gradually pluck each and every toy they have from their appropriated place to the couch and ottoman in the family room. Child one begins playing with the toy laptop as toddler comes in dressed as a homeless princess from a bad fairytale. Toddler proceeds to watch child carefully before intentionally messing up the game by pressing the on/off button. Child shoves toddler who falls back on the couch. Baby is looking on working on the next bowel movement when toddler decides to forfeit fighting with her sister. Toddler proceeds to go over to baby where she is force feeding him the pacifier which he obviously does NOT want. She is crooning “Here you go… there… there… pafier…take it! Take it! Take it”. Eldest child comes over to “save” the baby from toddler by yelling in a voice that is 1000000 decibels higher than the average human ear can take “STOP IT, he does NOT want it!”. Toddler gets upset at being admonished and proceeds to violently grab a fistful of child’s hair. Maybe it’s payback for the earlier shove or for the inhumanly screechy voice. Child cries (in the 1000000 decibels above natural human ability) and that sets off baby. Now baby is upset and he doesn’t know why. Maybe it’s because he is witness to criminality brought on by his siblings or maybe the loud, insanely piercing cry or the soft rubber pacifier (which produces no milk, by the way, no matter how much you suck) that is being forcefully inserted into his mouth.

That all took place in 60 seconds.

Mommy or daddy attend to all three with a round of “Say Sorry”, “Here, I will kiss it better”, “No hitting, bad girl”, “Be nice”, “Sharing is caring”, “Stop crying- you only cry if your bleeding or dying”, “There, there baby, it’s ok- your sisters are insane”.

That’s good for about 2 minutes then wash, rinse, repeat.

It’s amusing and exhausting but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love them all to the moon and back.

But here is a little tidbit of an amusing conversation I was having with my 4-year-old just last night. To place it in context, it takes place while child is on the toilet “trying for the 3rd time that night” because she is stalling bedtime. She just told a monster lie about her sister and I am trying to calmly talk to her. Here is the conversation.

Me: Lying is not nice. God knows when you are lying. You should never lie. Good people go to Heaven.

Child: But mommmeeeeee, I don’t WANT TO GO TO HEAVEN… I want to stay with you!!

Me: Daddy and I will hopefully go to Heaven. Don’t you want to come with us?

Child: No thanks, I want to live. I choose life.

Me: Ok. Fair enough but you still shouldnt lie.

Child: Ok fine.

Me: Are you done trying.

Child: Yes. I may have to try again soon actually.

Me: No more tonight.

Child: Fine. I hope I don’t wet my bed. (She is intentionally tapping into one of my known fears)

I recant. Firmly.

Me: Fine. If you need to pee… call me.

Close the door. End conversation. 30 seconds later – “Click” – door opens; “Moooooom, I need to pee!” *face palm*

As for my toddler, everyone says the middle child feels neglected and out shined by the eldest and the baby. Not in our household- she demands our love and attention with big, beautiful, brown eyes which flutter and blink when she wants something or gets into mischief. She is also the cuddliest little girl in the world which makes it easy for us NOT to forget her in the mix. She is the one who will walk over and randomly say “Hug” and will kiss our booboos better. She also grabs our shoes before we go out and throws stuff in the garbage to help us clean up. We give her lots of compliments and cuddles with the full awareness and commitment that she will not be forgotten in the chaos.

As for our marriage. Children enrich and deepen a relationship especially one rooted in trust and friendship. Even though we can never discuss anything whilst the children are awake, the lull after bedtime is even sweeter because we feel like we can finally catch up, reflect on our day and talk about how funny certain moments were. I wouldn’t change a single thing.

I know I am blessed and I can’t count my blessings because it would take me forever but I am also grateful for the not-so-bright moments of clarity that I experience in my parenting because it teaches more than I can hope for.

So until next time…

Smartignani