smartignani

 It is winter and some days are freezing cold while others are mild. Just like the weather can’t decide what to be, I feel like my daughter too is caught in an invisible battle of mental and psychological identification. Some days she is an infant; needy, cuddly, crying and just wants to be held while other days she is little miss independent with a need to comment on everything and everyone.

She has mastered many skills and her speech is a joy to hear; except she is speaking some foreign Mayan or African language that I have yet to recognize nor identify. As sweet as her attempts at communication are, as frustrating as they can be for her and us. Sometimes we look at her like she is an alien when she comes up to us with perfect intonation and asks “shdjshduye alskdjoieu sadnhq dbrbbsbbslkijsas??”

Both her dad and I are trying to decode this strange language but we have observed that she can communicate clearly with other toddlers. Which indicates one thing, we are the ignorant ones who need to learn her style of communication.

Then there are the days where she thinks she can get her way by laying flat on the floor and screaming. We end up moving to a different part of the house and then she proceeds to stop, get up then relocate her tantrum in clear view of where we are sitting. It is actually quite funny to witness.

She is also starting to figure things out. Today she put my shoes on and click-clacked around the house for a bit then she put the shoes back where I usually put them and tried on my scarf- emphasizing everything with “ooh” the whole time. Then she decided to wear her socks on her hands as mitts and laughed hysterically about it.

I am observing my baby quickly bloom into a full blown toddler and it is both scary and exciting. I am sad when she pushes my hands away because she wants to do it herself and I selfishly enjoy the moments she comes to me for comfort or leans on me as she watches cartoons. I gently kiss her slowly shrinking cheeks and have my fill of her smell as she sits and watches Bubble Guppies. She lets me kiss her and hold her because she is distracted but sometimes she looks at me and smiles or laughs because she thought something was funny. Tonight she actually turned to me and I whispered “I love you baby” and she actually reached for my face with her tiny hands and kissed me square on the lips.

There is nothing more satisfying or more touching than moments that make your heart take flight… moments that intensify what you thought was complete love to infinite amounts… she turned me into a puddle of emotion with such an innocent and genuine gesture of love and suddenly all the dirty, stinky diapers and smelly throw-up and spit-up and the endless ruined clothing faded into nothingness and all that remained was the kiss.

People wonder why people have many children, I think I know why… because it increases and multiplies the chances of moments like these occurring again and again.

SMartignani