smartignani

This blog will be about an issue I am experiencing right now (as if every other blog isn’t- right?)

I know that there are moms out there that are baking/boiling/steaching (see previous post for definition) baby-bulleting and pureeing every food out there for their baby- nice and fresh. I also know that this is definitely healthy and recommended but don’t judge me for what I am about to say but before I say it- moms who do the above, good on you- keep it up!

As for the rest of us who prefer to purchase ready-made, delicious meals in small, cute, recyclable jars that say ‘organic’ on them, why are we so ashamed? Why must I feel so guilty when another person asks, “Oh, what is she eating?” Why must I feel the same twinge of guilt I felt when I had to confess to every stranger that I couldn’t breast-feed? Why must we hide our jars and place the food in containers so people think we were the ones who cooked the vegetables with pork loin and apple cinnamon (as if I would ever dream of THAT combination anyway!) Why must I hide the fact that my baby is eating baby food as if I’m secretly forcing her into indulging in some form of drug or unhealthy past-time?

I am done hiding and I am definitely done caring. Yes- I buy my baby’s food because I suck at cooking to begin with. Never really enjoyed it nor will I ever. I cook out of necessity and only because I adore my husband and his extremely fit waist line. I also cook because I get hungry but if I didn’t, I wouldn’t and that is the honest truth!

I don’t know how some mothers do it? Really? My husband works from home which means he can actually look after our daughter for some stretches of time while I go to the washroom, or shower or put make up on but some moms actually do all of that with their husband AT work. I also don’t know how some moms have time for Yoga (hence the attached photo), manicures, pedicures, hairdos, shopping, cooking, cleaning, washing, folding, napping, exercising, walking, visiting, appointments, reading AND spending time with their significant other. How?? Is there is a secret? Should I clone myself? Because I believe something truly has got to give…

I don’t think that any one human being can manage all of that and still maintain a healthy lifestyle or even time with the baby. I have seen moms say they spend time with their baby while they cook or clean but I say- NO. That does not count. Spending time with the baby means concentrating your total energy, attention and focus on the baby; spending time laughing, playing, singing, tickling. 100% devotion to looking at your baby and letting them know that you are their centre and that they are your core. Uh oh, I feel a rant coming on- here it is…

I studied Early Childhood Education eons ago and I also took developmental psychology in university and one thing really stuck with me regarding baby-rearing skills and that one thing is the attachment theory. If you haven’t heard of it, look it up because I told you so and because it might change your views on why your baby acts the way they do. The most famous theorist is John Bowlby and you can read more about this theory HERE. In short, attachment theories theorize that theoretically, babies form four main types of attachments depending on the relationship they have with their caregiver(s): secure, ambivalent, avoidant and disorganized. Obviously, everyone should aim for the first one because it frankly sounds the best. Truth is, your interaction with your baby (nurture) is key to enhancing, expanding, improving, organizing and nurturing their inherent genetic conceptions, perceptions and outlooks of the world (nature). So in reality, if your child is clingy or very scared of social situations, then it is partially of their fear that you will not be around. Now remember to take everything I write and everything everyone says with a grain of salt because as per my previous post, EVERY BABY IS UNIQUE so this may not apply to you. Some babies are just naturally clingy because they love cuddling, not because they have a bad form of attachment. Please don’t misread my post because I am not judging- I am just discussing.

Please, no death threats to my e-mail address, you will scare the children! =)

Back to what I was ranting about, I don’t have time. I don’t know how to lose weight, cook healthy meals for my baby and husband, look pretty with cuticle grooming and follicle tweezing while maintaining a healthy, one-on-one time with my little bundle of joy who is so not joyful when I have to put her in the high-chair or jumper to do dishes. If there is a secret, please share? I think I need help. I also need to lose 25 pounds, if you know how to do that as well, please share.

There IS good news. I have made peace with the pouch. The one that hangs over my pre-existing lady parts. It is the remaining, stretchy skin as a result of the pregnancy that refuses to even decrease a little despite the hundreds of crunches I have done. Celebrity moms must have trainers, chefs, nutritionists and surgeons because I sure as heck would have no excuse if I had a team of people working towards eliminating the jut in the gut.

All in all, I think I am doing an ok job with things. I am learning as I go and I would have it no other way. I have lost 35 pounds from my obscene just-before-delivery weight and I am continuing to work out after my little angel surrenders to slumber. I am also learning new recipes to prepare for my little hungry monkey when she’s older (I’m practicing on my hubby who is too kind and will eat anything I make- I love you hunny!) I am also, and this is my proudest achievement, spending at least two hours a day with my little baby girl singing, dancing, playing, tickling, talking, counting, alphabetting, spoiling, hugging, kissing, snuffling and booty scootching!

What’s the point of maternity leave if you are going to spend it doing anything else?

Until next time,

Smartignani